Friday, December 1, 2006

Surrender

We live our lives based in fear. We are exploited and controlled because of and by this fear. Why is this? It all stems from the illusion that we are the drivers in this vehicle we inhabit and through which we experience the world of manifestation. Somewhere deep within, we know that we don’t have all the information at our disposal to make the decisions necessary to live our lives based on our true desires. At least that is what the little mind thinks and it is quite accurate. This keeps us feeling unsettled and uneasy about our future, which we feel we must design or prepare for. But the Truth is, we do have all the information at our disposal, just not from the part of our consciousness through which we normally see the world and use for all our strategizing.

One day I was driving in my car (literally) and I heard a voice inside my head say, “If you will just let go and let me handle everything, I will do such a better job you will be absolutely amazed.” Well, I was already pretty amazed just to hear that voice let alone the promise, so I decided to actually try it. At this point in time, I was already familiar with the concept of surrender. I had been to the brink once before when I had no other choice than to throw my hands up in the air, absolutely lost to solutions regarding what felt like the most important aspect of my life. The result was an almost immediate movement from desperation to a sense of effortless flow. I couldn’t believe what was happening. Solutions I would never have thought of were not only appearing in my realm of consciousness, but I was effortlessly moving on them as if a power larger than me was carrying me fearlessly along. I was in flow. This lasted for a few months when I slipped back into my strategies and began life as usual again. Then about two years later I heard the voice while driving, for no apparent reason. I decided to listen and bow to the invitation of surrender again, this time from a place of conscious choice rather than desperation. What followed was an ever-increasing sense of wonder and awe and a deeper alignment with my true purpose and joy.

Surrender is a concept, which is not held favorably by the ego and for good reason. Fortunately we have two selves. The True Self, which we are born as, and the egoic self made up and conditioned by our perceived experiences. The egoic self is very necessary as it is from this separated sense of self that we are able to realize the True Self. It is as if we need to go out and look back to see whom we are. The problem is that we get caught out there in the illusion. The ego does whatever it can to keep us caught in order to stay in charge. But we are far more than the mini me we feel ourselves to be.

From the conditioned point of view we don’t see the big picture. At any moment in time we are looking at just a small piece of the painting. We may be looking at an ugly black glob. Or we may see a beautiful golden streak. What we see affects us depending on our past conditioning. Some of us have such an unpleasant experience in the separated identification that a spontaneous awakening to Truth occurs out of sheer despair. Some of us have glimpses of Truth and the curiosity pulls or drives us to realization. Some of us exist stubbornly in the delusion despite hints pointing otherwise. And then some of us are just asleep and never question. When we come into conscious awareness that we are seeing and reacting to only a limited point of view, we can loosen our grip on the story we are telling ourselves.

Surrender is the way to realization of the true master within. The true master awaits the invitation. The invitation is the surrender. It is in surrender that the struggle ends and joy begins. When we come into conscious awareness and surrender to the True Self whose view is complete, we experience an effortless alignment with our desires, and trust in the process of life unfolding perfectly as it should. We can then relax in knowing we are completely safe and enjoy the glorious ride.

1 comment:

cynthia_duval said...

Dear Jarly, I am inspired as always by your creativity and willingness to share your insights. I will be bookmarking your blog and am looking forward to enjoying it day after day. I am so glad that you are willing to do the hard spiritual work and are willing to guide those of us who need a guide. You are beautiful beyond belief.