Desire has gotten a bad rap in some spiritual and religious traditions. Renunciation and asceticism are held in high regard in many Eastern and some Western schools of thought. In my opinion, this perspective misses the mark. I see desire as a pull toward evolution from the Higher Self. The problem comes when the ego attaches itself and filters the desire to put it’s own spin on it. It is this spin that sometimes takes us down roads that are not for the highest purpose or well being of all involved. The ego, which is our personality or separate sense of self, is made up of our perception of all of the experiences we have had since birth. These perceptions have been influenced by our parent's and other authority figure's perceptions. Their perceptions have been influenced by their parents.....and on it goes.
When a desire is felt, the mind attaches an object or action of fulfillment to it. Right thinking and right action suggest that we take a look to see if that object or action is in alignment with truth. We must ask: Is it for the highest purpose of all involved as far as I can know? Will the fulfillment harm anyone, physically or emotionally? Does the fulfillment or action come from integrity? Can I be truthful? If the answer is not a resounding and unconditional yes, it is probably not the path to pursue. On the other hand, if our desires and their fulfillment are in alignment with truth, we are probably coming from a place grounded in alignment with our Higher Selves.
To stay in peace, harmony and joy, we must learn to surrender our desires when we know the outcome would not bring fulfillment and joy for all, or we may suffer the consequence of bringing pain on ourselves and others. When we find our desire is out of alignment with our Higher Selves, for instance, we know or suspect it will cause suffering in ourselves or others, and we still feel a craving desire for that which is out of alignment, it is time to surrender the fulfillment of the desire to our Higher Selves. We can ask our Higher Selves to fulfill in us, our desire in such a way as to bring satisfaction, and peace and harmony for all. This means letting go of the desired results showing up or looking the way we think they should and trusting that the Higher Self has something better in mind.
When I was married, my desire to keep my marriage and family together, in spite of resistance from my husband, was so strong that I was willing to try and keep it together at all costs. As a result of my early childhood experiences growing up in a "broken home", I was ignoring the emotional and mental costs that staying together were actually accruing. When I finally realized that I was ignoring all the destructive signs, I let go. I let go and asked the Universe to bring us into our "right" relationship. What followed when I finally let go and trusted the Universe, truly amazed me. My life went into an effortless flow of events that I personally could have never imagined, created or arranged. It has continued on ever since bringing my life into alignment with my deepest desires. I found out that I didn't have to give up my relationship with my daughter's father, it just needed changing. We are both in relationships which are far more suited to our individual natures, much happier and all friends.
Our Higher Self is available and as close to us as our very breath. When we tune in to our breath and sincerely ask to be brought into alignment with our Highest Purpose toward evolution and deeper fulfillment, our answer comes in the speed relative to the sincerity of our surrender. For every desire, we can ask for the fulfillment to come about for the highest purpose of all involved. When we are living our lives in alignment with Truth or our True Selves, life becomes an effortless, joyful and miraculous ride.