I've known for some time now that Love and Gratitude are the keys to living a life in flow. They now seem to me to be the solution to most of life's problems. Two small but powerful sentences, I love you and thank you are the Ho'oponopono prayer and promise. Whenever I see anything out of alignment with my joy or another's, I use this technique. I think of the situation and then hold the mantra Thank you, I love you in my mind. Whenever the image pops back into my mind of the disharmony, I counter it with love and gratitude, I love you, thank you. This is the cleansing technique used by the now famous therapist, Dr. Hew Len, on the inmates in the Hawaii State Hospital ward of the criminally insane. He never saw any one of the inmates individually. He sat in his office and reviewed their charts. Taking 100% responsibility for having created their wrongful deeds into his field of awareness, he cleansed himself. As a result, in four years, from 1983 to 1987, the inmates who had previously been shackled and heavily drugged, were released and the ward was eventually closed. (Google Joe Vitale's story of Ho'oponopono for a more complete version of this story).
I recently attended a Ho'oponopono workshop with Dr. Hew Len in Colorado, which cemented my resolve to use this mantra 24/7. I'm finding wonderful results for which I am immensely full of love and gratitude. As Dr. Hew Len says, "It is so simple that most people won't even be interested in trying it." The mind wants to complicate everything. But as is true with most things, the simpler it is, the more powerful.
Sunday, while on a drive to Napa Valley, I received a phone call from my friend and tai chi student, Renata. "I need some help," she said. "Allison (her one year old daughter) is keeping me up all night. She never sleeps through the night and I need my sleep. Do you have any suggestions on what I might do?" "Ah," I said, "This is a job for Ho'oponopono!" I told her to mantra Thank you, I love you and that I would do the same whenever I thought about them. "Okay," she agreed, "I'll do anything!" This morning, a day and a half later, Renata called with exhilaration in her voice. "Allison slept from 9 pm to 7 am. She's never done that!" I beamed with joy. These stories are becoming a regular thing with me. I'm so grateful about that! I love you!
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Friday, November 23, 2007
Attitude of Gratitude
"Desire and Gratitude can never co-exist. When you feel one desire after another, it means that you are not living with gratitude. When you live with gratitude, you can never have any desires. When you live with gratitude, whatever is given to you will simply fulfill whatever you need at that moment, that’s all. Even before you ask, you will be given, so there will be no question of asking."
Nithyandana, from his book Guaranteed Solutions.
Nithyandana, from his book Guaranteed Solutions.
Monday, November 19, 2007
From Revolution to Evolution
In the past 3,000 years, we have records of over 5,000 wars. Revolution is apparently not effective. Why haven’t we noticed? Einstein said the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results. We talk as if we desire peace and yet we continually go to war, with even war itself. It seems it is time we individually wake up and start a collective evolution, not a revolution.
Everything is energy! Our politicians are a tangible representation of our collective energy frequency. If we continue to criticize them, we send more negativity into our collective vibration and create more war. War is a creation of agitated people. Becoming agitated with the politicians does not solve the problem it exacerbates it. Instead of contributing negatively to the collective frequency by fighting with what we don’t want, we can put our concentration on what we would like to experience. What we focus on expands. What we put our attention on grows. Let’s focus on positive solutions and do something constructive rather than complaining like innocent victims, pretending as if “they” are doing it to us. We are collectively responsible for whatever is happening at any one time in history. Yet we can only change ourselves individually. If we each take responsibility for the quality of energy we are personally radiating, by focusing on what we want instead of complaining about what we’ve got that we don’t want, we are taking the most important and effective step forward in creating a world of peace. Let’s stop irresponsibly revolving in circles of insanity and start responsibly evolving toward the experience of peace and sanity.
Everything is energy! Our politicians are a tangible representation of our collective energy frequency. If we continue to criticize them, we send more negativity into our collective vibration and create more war. War is a creation of agitated people. Becoming agitated with the politicians does not solve the problem it exacerbates it. Instead of contributing negatively to the collective frequency by fighting with what we don’t want, we can put our concentration on what we would like to experience. What we focus on expands. What we put our attention on grows. Let’s focus on positive solutions and do something constructive rather than complaining like innocent victims, pretending as if “they” are doing it to us. We are collectively responsible for whatever is happening at any one time in history. Yet we can only change ourselves individually. If we each take responsibility for the quality of energy we are personally radiating, by focusing on what we want instead of complaining about what we’ve got that we don’t want, we are taking the most important and effective step forward in creating a world of peace. Let’s stop irresponsibly revolving in circles of insanity and start responsibly evolving toward the experience of peace and sanity.
THE MAGICAL UNIVERSE
The Universe keeps amazing me! I am continually blown away by seemingly coincidental happenings. The most recent was so cool, I just have to write about it. I must begin, though, with a bit of history.
Twelve years ago, when my former husband and I decided to separate, I was absolutely at a loss as to how to pull it off emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually and financially. It wasn’t what I wanted. My parents divorced when I was a child and I tried everything to avoid going through that again. However it became increasing obvious that a separation was necessary, and I saw how my actions to keep our marriage together were coming more from ideas I was holding onto rather than from what was best for all involved. The day came when I had no choice but to surrender to a power greater than I and ask for help.
“Universe, put me where I’m suppose to be!
What followed the next few days felt like someone put me on a raft and floated me down the most amazing river. Literally, my phone rang and all the instructions I needed came in a way I had never expected, thought of, or had prior to that moment, wanted. There is one person in particular to whom I am grateful for being the "angel" the Universe came through for this amazing transition and transformation. That person happened to be a tai chi student of mine at the time. As busy lives have it, after a while, ours went on their separate ways and we have not been in contact for many years.
Larry, my former husband, with whom I share the parenting of our daughter, has remained a close friend and we have each found new mates with whom we are both very happy. My mate Steve, (whom I incidentally met through this "angel"), and I began a design business together after buying, remodeling and selling several houses over the years. Almost two years ago we joined with our friend Sallie Lang of Bliss Building to work on the interior design of a house she designed and was building as a spec house.
Sallie, a master wood worker, worked on Oracle founder, Larry Ellison’s Japanese style mansion and upon completion of that job ventured on this new project of her own. Wonderful craftsmen and artists worked on the home and Steve and I felt very honored to be a part of the team. Although there was a budget, every time we came to Sallie to show her what we could do within the budget, and then what we wanted to do, she said, “Do what you want!” It was a wonderfully satisfying and challenging project, which went a tad over budget, to say the least. As time went on during the project, it became necessary for Steve and I to invest our own money into the project. We started buying what was needed to do what we wanted, sure that the house would sell quickly and we would reap a reward on our investment.
Although the house is probably over 4 thousand square feet, it has only two bedrooms. There is a library, a spa with a sauna, six bathrooms, a large kitchen, living room, dining room, and a wonderful view, all space-out over 5 floors and hanging off the hillside. It’s not a typical house for a family. It's an art project and we were not quite sure who would buy it, but we knew it would sell to the perfect people.
Eight months went by and we were wondering where these perfect people were. Finally, one afternoon, Steve and I were in a store and we ran into the realtor for the house. Excitedly she said, “You’ll never believe who came to look at the house and is considering buying it!” When she told us we were flabbergasted. When we told her that we knew these people, she was flabbergasted.
I could hardly believe it was my "angel" of 12 years ago coming onto the scene and again saving the day. Having no idea of our involvement in the project, he and his wife Anne found the house and bought it.
That "angel" is Jerry Brown.
Thank you, Jerry
Twelve years ago, when my former husband and I decided to separate, I was absolutely at a loss as to how to pull it off emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually and financially. It wasn’t what I wanted. My parents divorced when I was a child and I tried everything to avoid going through that again. However it became increasing obvious that a separation was necessary, and I saw how my actions to keep our marriage together were coming more from ideas I was holding onto rather than from what was best for all involved. The day came when I had no choice but to surrender to a power greater than I and ask for help.
“Universe, put me where I’m suppose to be!
What followed the next few days felt like someone put me on a raft and floated me down the most amazing river. Literally, my phone rang and all the instructions I needed came in a way I had never expected, thought of, or had prior to that moment, wanted. There is one person in particular to whom I am grateful for being the "angel" the Universe came through for this amazing transition and transformation. That person happened to be a tai chi student of mine at the time. As busy lives have it, after a while, ours went on their separate ways and we have not been in contact for many years.
Larry, my former husband, with whom I share the parenting of our daughter, has remained a close friend and we have each found new mates with whom we are both very happy. My mate Steve, (whom I incidentally met through this "angel"), and I began a design business together after buying, remodeling and selling several houses over the years. Almost two years ago we joined with our friend Sallie Lang of Bliss Building to work on the interior design of a house she designed and was building as a spec house.
Sallie, a master wood worker, worked on Oracle founder, Larry Ellison’s Japanese style mansion and upon completion of that job ventured on this new project of her own. Wonderful craftsmen and artists worked on the home and Steve and I felt very honored to be a part of the team. Although there was a budget, every time we came to Sallie to show her what we could do within the budget, and then what we wanted to do, she said, “Do what you want!” It was a wonderfully satisfying and challenging project, which went a tad over budget, to say the least. As time went on during the project, it became necessary for Steve and I to invest our own money into the project. We started buying what was needed to do what we wanted, sure that the house would sell quickly and we would reap a reward on our investment.
Although the house is probably over 4 thousand square feet, it has only two bedrooms. There is a library, a spa with a sauna, six bathrooms, a large kitchen, living room, dining room, and a wonderful view, all space-out over 5 floors and hanging off the hillside. It’s not a typical house for a family. It's an art project and we were not quite sure who would buy it, but we knew it would sell to the perfect people.
Eight months went by and we were wondering where these perfect people were. Finally, one afternoon, Steve and I were in a store and we ran into the realtor for the house. Excitedly she said, “You’ll never believe who came to look at the house and is considering buying it!” When she told us we were flabbergasted. When we told her that we knew these people, she was flabbergasted.
I could hardly believe it was my "angel" of 12 years ago coming onto the scene and again saving the day. Having no idea of our involvement in the project, he and his wife Anne found the house and bought it.
That "angel" is Jerry Brown.
Thank you, Jerry
Sunday, June 10, 2007
Can We Ever Truly Be Satisfied In A Relationship?
What we truly want is to become Authentically Ourselves--to live in awareness of our True Self. To discover who we truly are is our purpose in life. The ego always wants what it doesn’t have. That’s its nature. That’s how it stays in control. It keeps us always searching for something better. Satisfaction never comes from anything outside ourselves, it starts from within and then we attract from that place satisfying experiences. We will always have issues with others until we resolve our own issues. Then and only then will we be open to truly satisfying relationships. Others irritate us only if we are expecting them to make us happy. We bring into our lives our own joy. No one gives it to us.
Everything changes moment by moment and to practice loving what is, to just accept things as we see them, begins to soften the stranglehold of the ego. What we practice is what we get. If we keep practicing being dissatisfied with others we will keep attracting others with whom to be dissatisfied. If we practice acceptance then we start to attract people who resonate with us on a deeper level--those who are easy to accept. Practicing acceptance of what is brings us into authenticity. When we begin to truly love ourselves and are not “in need” we will attract a truly satisfying relationship. Then we will know it is what we want.
Everything changes moment by moment and to practice loving what is, to just accept things as we see them, begins to soften the stranglehold of the ego. What we practice is what we get. If we keep practicing being dissatisfied with others we will keep attracting others with whom to be dissatisfied. If we practice acceptance then we start to attract people who resonate with us on a deeper level--those who are easy to accept. Practicing acceptance of what is brings us into authenticity. When we begin to truly love ourselves and are not “in need” we will attract a truly satisfying relationship. Then we will know it is what we want.
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Victim: Is There Really Such a Thing?
Today in my tai chi class, a conversation about victims ensued after the mention of a story of someone getting their wallet stolen. The question arose: are victim experiences so by chance or by cause? The comments started flying, “Some people have victim written all over their faces. Some people are born victims”. Another said, “I disagree with that statement.” And another asked, “What about children who are abused? It’s not their fault!” Someone questioned, “What about chance? Can’t something just happen by chance?” The conversation seemed to be getting a little heated when fortunately it was time to begin our tai chi set.
As I was doing my tai chi set, a flash of clarity came to me. To put into words what I saw was this:
Everything is energy vibrating. The quality of this vibration is determined by our thoughts. Our thoughts are determined by our conditioning. Our conditioning begins at birth or perhaps even prior to birth. These thoughts control our experience UNTIL we become consciously aware of them. When we become consciously aware of the thoughts we are cultivating, we recognize the kinds of experiences we have as a result and the choice to continue our current pattern of thinking or change it appears as a possibility. If we decide to choose new thought patterns, it can fundamentally change the way in which we experience the world. Even if our previous thinking produced chaotic, unpleasant, and victim-making vibrations, we can learn to cultivate thoughts that bring us into peace and harmony. This is how we gain mastery over our lives.
We are all created equally in the sense that we all have access to the same unlimited energy. We are energy! Our thoughts are the creative substance that produce how and what this energy manifests. What we may call chance is our unconscious, habitual vibration creating what appears as our reality. The ego is the part of us who lives in the world of duality, polarities such as right and wrong, good and bad. Our feelings are just sensations. Our mind labeling them is what causes our suffering. We are so addicted to feeling good or not feeling bad that our tolerance level for experiencing physically uncomfortable feelings is very low. When we realize that nothing ever stays the same, these feelings, if actually felt rather than masked, repressed or turned into stories, will transform too. By consciously feeling our sensations as a practice, our tolerance level is heightened. This transformation brings us out from under the control polarity has on us and we move into greater authenticity and self-mastery. The seesaw emotional experiences of the ego that we are all so addicted to, pales in comparison to the joyfully balanced experience of the authentic self. Once a glimpse of the world of authenticity has been felt, the world of polarity begins to lose it's appeal.
When we practice seeing things as neutral, we are more likely to have the truth revealed to us. We can see that our energetic vibration has put us in the precise situation in which we find ourselves. If we have the clarity to view our situation in this manner, then whatever is happening can be seen as a gift to give us feedback. This is a very powerful realization.
When we accept the responsibility to diligently watch our thinking, we begin to find the link between our experience and our thought habits. This is very freeing and has nothing to do with blame or fault. After we learned to walk, we didn’t blame ourselves for not learning sooner. In the same vein, we shouldn’t blame ourselves for creating situations we didn’t realize we were creating until we became conscious. If we drop the judgments and look at new awareness as a gift then we can move from the victim mode into the flow that is created by conscious choice.
I recently read a book called "The Presence Process" by Michael Brown who had a tremendously painful neurological condition for almost 10 years. In this time, he searched virtually every conventional and alternative medicinal method of relief he could find. After finding no relief, he embarked on a quest to heal himself. He says,
“As a consequence of experimenting on myself with different physical, mental and emotional procedures, I discovered that if I maintained what I then called “a high personal energy frequency”, I could substantially lessen the levels and occurrences of the pain that I was experiencing. This discovery was the first whispering of what I now know to be my level of “present moment awareness.”
Being able to commune with my own Inner Presence during the course of those experiences was akin to being introduced to the most precious part of my Being that had until then been obscured by the endless distractions of my outer life… During that experience, I was, metaphorically, able to step through a veil. On the other side, I witnessed how all life is connected by the same intimate, intelligent Presence. I saw how the true luminous beauty of the natural world of this planet remains hidden from us because of our preoccupation with time… In that moment, I also became aware that my own painful condition was a result of my body doing everything in its power to call me back from where I had unconsciously scattered and attached my attention to the illusory web of time. In that state of consciousness, the pain did not reveal itself as my enemy but as my friend and facilitator, obediently calling me to return to the Now of my life experience…Consequently, I accepted that the greatest journey that I could undertake was to find a way to navigate my experience towards achieving an ongoing state of 100% present moment awareness in my own life.”
We can accept this as a great journey and sincerely make the effort to become consciously aware of the effect habitual patterns of thought have on our lives. We will then find that there is no place for blame, shame or guilt. What we do find is an enlivening sense of personal power, authenticity, freedom and gratitude.
As I was doing my tai chi set, a flash of clarity came to me. To put into words what I saw was this:
Everything is energy vibrating. The quality of this vibration is determined by our thoughts. Our thoughts are determined by our conditioning. Our conditioning begins at birth or perhaps even prior to birth. These thoughts control our experience UNTIL we become consciously aware of them. When we become consciously aware of the thoughts we are cultivating, we recognize the kinds of experiences we have as a result and the choice to continue our current pattern of thinking or change it appears as a possibility. If we decide to choose new thought patterns, it can fundamentally change the way in which we experience the world. Even if our previous thinking produced chaotic, unpleasant, and victim-making vibrations, we can learn to cultivate thoughts that bring us into peace and harmony. This is how we gain mastery over our lives.
We are all created equally in the sense that we all have access to the same unlimited energy. We are energy! Our thoughts are the creative substance that produce how and what this energy manifests. What we may call chance is our unconscious, habitual vibration creating what appears as our reality. The ego is the part of us who lives in the world of duality, polarities such as right and wrong, good and bad. Our feelings are just sensations. Our mind labeling them is what causes our suffering. We are so addicted to feeling good or not feeling bad that our tolerance level for experiencing physically uncomfortable feelings is very low. When we realize that nothing ever stays the same, these feelings, if actually felt rather than masked, repressed or turned into stories, will transform too. By consciously feeling our sensations as a practice, our tolerance level is heightened. This transformation brings us out from under the control polarity has on us and we move into greater authenticity and self-mastery. The seesaw emotional experiences of the ego that we are all so addicted to, pales in comparison to the joyfully balanced experience of the authentic self. Once a glimpse of the world of authenticity has been felt, the world of polarity begins to lose it's appeal.
When we practice seeing things as neutral, we are more likely to have the truth revealed to us. We can see that our energetic vibration has put us in the precise situation in which we find ourselves. If we have the clarity to view our situation in this manner, then whatever is happening can be seen as a gift to give us feedback. This is a very powerful realization.
When we accept the responsibility to diligently watch our thinking, we begin to find the link between our experience and our thought habits. This is very freeing and has nothing to do with blame or fault. After we learned to walk, we didn’t blame ourselves for not learning sooner. In the same vein, we shouldn’t blame ourselves for creating situations we didn’t realize we were creating until we became conscious. If we drop the judgments and look at new awareness as a gift then we can move from the victim mode into the flow that is created by conscious choice.
I recently read a book called "The Presence Process" by Michael Brown who had a tremendously painful neurological condition for almost 10 years. In this time, he searched virtually every conventional and alternative medicinal method of relief he could find. After finding no relief, he embarked on a quest to heal himself. He says,
“As a consequence of experimenting on myself with different physical, mental and emotional procedures, I discovered that if I maintained what I then called “a high personal energy frequency”, I could substantially lessen the levels and occurrences of the pain that I was experiencing. This discovery was the first whispering of what I now know to be my level of “present moment awareness.”
Being able to commune with my own Inner Presence during the course of those experiences was akin to being introduced to the most precious part of my Being that had until then been obscured by the endless distractions of my outer life… During that experience, I was, metaphorically, able to step through a veil. On the other side, I witnessed how all life is connected by the same intimate, intelligent Presence. I saw how the true luminous beauty of the natural world of this planet remains hidden from us because of our preoccupation with time… In that moment, I also became aware that my own painful condition was a result of my body doing everything in its power to call me back from where I had unconsciously scattered and attached my attention to the illusory web of time. In that state of consciousness, the pain did not reveal itself as my enemy but as my friend and facilitator, obediently calling me to return to the Now of my life experience…Consequently, I accepted that the greatest journey that I could undertake was to find a way to navigate my experience towards achieving an ongoing state of 100% present moment awareness in my own life.”
We can accept this as a great journey and sincerely make the effort to become consciously aware of the effect habitual patterns of thought have on our lives. We will then find that there is no place for blame, shame or guilt. What we do find is an enlivening sense of personal power, authenticity, freedom and gratitude.
Monday, April 23, 2007
Time For A Paradigm Shift in Consciousness. (Your Ego Won't Like This!)
It’s natural and common to have opinions and personal thoughts about everything going on and also natural to express our thoughts and opinions about everything occurring. It’s what defines us as individuals. Our egos need to do it. The problem lies in our belief in these thoughts and opinions as TRUTH. When we practice questioning our own opinions we begin to see the cost these beliefs have on us individually and as a whole. We are so caught up in our opinions and views of reality that we don’t see how limiting they are, how harmful they are, or how really unpleasant our judgments make our lives. We are truly living in a self created illusion.
We will judge anything and everything. We think this judgment is harmless. It’s not. Any time we criticize anything from a dance performance to human atrocities we suffer from it whether we realize it or not. We suffer because what we focus on expands. What we give energy to increases and is fueled by the quality of energy we are giving it. When we casually or passionately complain about the horrible things going on in the world in an attempt to express concern, effect change and educate others, we actually add more energy to and fuel what we are complaining about. I’m not saying we should never discuss situations or conditions that we would like to see change. I am saying, if we want to see something different, then focusing on the solution; visualizing, praying or doing anything that gives energy to what we would like to see rather than to the problem is the only way to effect change. We usually stop considerably short of solutions. The fact is, we love to complain! It’s what makes us feel important, smart, superior and right.
Something as simple and seemingly innocuous as criticizing a performance has it’s negative impact on the one doing the criticizing. I was listening to a group of people discussing a ballet I was scheduled to attend that same day. The comments ran something like this: “I didn’t think the two styles of dance fit together well.” Another said, “I wish the ballet would have been performed in a more classical style.” Later while I was actually watching the performance those comments I'd heard flashed through my mind. A laugh bubbled up. The dancers were doing truly amazing physical feats that the average person cannot do. I thought, how could anyone have found fault or wanted this to be any different. This performance delighted every part of me. Maybe I’m not as discriminating, but I’d certainly rather come away feeling delighted than disappointed. I realized the cost of that critical little voice inside us all that just loves to lessen our joy by asserting itself and claiming things aren't as good as they could be.
Until we begin to question our beliefs and opinions to see where they are coming from, we don’t even know we are being hijacked. We think our opinions and thoughts are valid, they are who we are. We can be so righteous and proud of these thoughts and opinions and dislike those who don’t share similar ones. In the name of trying to save the world or stop the war, we do more damage by our incessant rants and negative focus. I’m all for changing our patterns and habits to tread more lightly on our planet. I’m all for wars ending forever! But let’s not be fooled by our egos. The wars are happening inside our heads all the time, especially when we are talking about how horrible the wars are. We go to war with war. How can that help? It’s like hitting a child for hitting. The child may stop temporarily, but we are not teaching the child another way. The way to effect change is not in polarized, political warfare. Whenever an issue becomes politicized, we can bet it has been hijacked by the ego and we are most likely not going to come up with a solution because our pride is too attached to winning our way. Solutions are rarely even mentioned. We can’t ever really know why anything is happening or what anything really means in the Big Picture. We only know our opinions. It becomes a self-righteous game to give us each a stronger identity. We get so fooled by this game we are playing!
I have to admit here that my not so little, critical voice has definitely had its prominent place in me. I have suffered something fierce in the past as a result of believing my nasty judgments, opinions, complaints and viewpoints. Relationships have suffered, I’ve held myself back from doing things I would have loved to do out of fear of not doing it well enough. This critical voice has affected every part of my life in a restricting, harmful way, until I became aware of it.
Over the last 11 years, doing Byron Katie’s “Work” on issues that arise in my life that cause even the slightest bit of suffering, and through my discovery of the ancient Huna cleansing technique called Ho’oponopono, I have experienced an oh so gradual, but noticeable release of attachment to my thoughts, opinions and identifications. The feeling is a more accepting and enjoyable experience of whatever is occurring in my field of awareness and a more powerful, freeing feeling of being able to do something positive in any moment that fear, frustration, judgment or anxiety arises. I’m not as hijacked by my ego as I used to be and much more joyful. If I see something out of alignment with harmony occurring in my field of awareness, whether it be a slight irritation or something heart-wrenching, I question it, surrender to it or ask to be brought into alignment with TRUTH. We are living in a polarized world where the truth lie not in one side or the other, but the whole. We usually see only from our polarized point of view rather than from the vantage point of the Big Picture.
Now I find it almost painful to listen to complaints or judgments. I know so well what it does to me when I let the voice have its way with me. When I hear anyone complaining about the president, the war, the conditions in the world, in prisons, in schools, the violence on tv and in movies, the list can and does go on and on, I pull out one of my tools. I do the Ho’oponopono technique on the situation immediately. When I find myself judging another, I do the Byron Katie Work on my judgment. It is an immediate way to free myself from the damage this negative energy does to me and to the world at large. It makes me feel I am doing something positive rather than adding to the problem. I’m not batting 100% yet, but each time I catch that voice and turn my complaint either around or into looking toward a solution, I become a little bit more self aware and it gets a little easier to keep that critical voice in its place. It requires a paradigm shift.
We will judge anything and everything. We think this judgment is harmless. It’s not. Any time we criticize anything from a dance performance to human atrocities we suffer from it whether we realize it or not. We suffer because what we focus on expands. What we give energy to increases and is fueled by the quality of energy we are giving it. When we casually or passionately complain about the horrible things going on in the world in an attempt to express concern, effect change and educate others, we actually add more energy to and fuel what we are complaining about. I’m not saying we should never discuss situations or conditions that we would like to see change. I am saying, if we want to see something different, then focusing on the solution; visualizing, praying or doing anything that gives energy to what we would like to see rather than to the problem is the only way to effect change. We usually stop considerably short of solutions. The fact is, we love to complain! It’s what makes us feel important, smart, superior and right.
Something as simple and seemingly innocuous as criticizing a performance has it’s negative impact on the one doing the criticizing. I was listening to a group of people discussing a ballet I was scheduled to attend that same day. The comments ran something like this: “I didn’t think the two styles of dance fit together well.” Another said, “I wish the ballet would have been performed in a more classical style.” Later while I was actually watching the performance those comments I'd heard flashed through my mind. A laugh bubbled up. The dancers were doing truly amazing physical feats that the average person cannot do. I thought, how could anyone have found fault or wanted this to be any different. This performance delighted every part of me. Maybe I’m not as discriminating, but I’d certainly rather come away feeling delighted than disappointed. I realized the cost of that critical little voice inside us all that just loves to lessen our joy by asserting itself and claiming things aren't as good as they could be.
Until we begin to question our beliefs and opinions to see where they are coming from, we don’t even know we are being hijacked. We think our opinions and thoughts are valid, they are who we are. We can be so righteous and proud of these thoughts and opinions and dislike those who don’t share similar ones. In the name of trying to save the world or stop the war, we do more damage by our incessant rants and negative focus. I’m all for changing our patterns and habits to tread more lightly on our planet. I’m all for wars ending forever! But let’s not be fooled by our egos. The wars are happening inside our heads all the time, especially when we are talking about how horrible the wars are. We go to war with war. How can that help? It’s like hitting a child for hitting. The child may stop temporarily, but we are not teaching the child another way. The way to effect change is not in polarized, political warfare. Whenever an issue becomes politicized, we can bet it has been hijacked by the ego and we are most likely not going to come up with a solution because our pride is too attached to winning our way. Solutions are rarely even mentioned. We can’t ever really know why anything is happening or what anything really means in the Big Picture. We only know our opinions. It becomes a self-righteous game to give us each a stronger identity. We get so fooled by this game we are playing!
I have to admit here that my not so little, critical voice has definitely had its prominent place in me. I have suffered something fierce in the past as a result of believing my nasty judgments, opinions, complaints and viewpoints. Relationships have suffered, I’ve held myself back from doing things I would have loved to do out of fear of not doing it well enough. This critical voice has affected every part of my life in a restricting, harmful way, until I became aware of it.
Over the last 11 years, doing Byron Katie’s “Work” on issues that arise in my life that cause even the slightest bit of suffering, and through my discovery of the ancient Huna cleansing technique called Ho’oponopono, I have experienced an oh so gradual, but noticeable release of attachment to my thoughts, opinions and identifications. The feeling is a more accepting and enjoyable experience of whatever is occurring in my field of awareness and a more powerful, freeing feeling of being able to do something positive in any moment that fear, frustration, judgment or anxiety arises. I’m not as hijacked by my ego as I used to be and much more joyful. If I see something out of alignment with harmony occurring in my field of awareness, whether it be a slight irritation or something heart-wrenching, I question it, surrender to it or ask to be brought into alignment with TRUTH. We are living in a polarized world where the truth lie not in one side or the other, but the whole. We usually see only from our polarized point of view rather than from the vantage point of the Big Picture.
Now I find it almost painful to listen to complaints or judgments. I know so well what it does to me when I let the voice have its way with me. When I hear anyone complaining about the president, the war, the conditions in the world, in prisons, in schools, the violence on tv and in movies, the list can and does go on and on, I pull out one of my tools. I do the Ho’oponopono technique on the situation immediately. When I find myself judging another, I do the Byron Katie Work on my judgment. It is an immediate way to free myself from the damage this negative energy does to me and to the world at large. It makes me feel I am doing something positive rather than adding to the problem. I’m not batting 100% yet, but each time I catch that voice and turn my complaint either around or into looking toward a solution, I become a little bit more self aware and it gets a little easier to keep that critical voice in its place. It requires a paradigm shift.
Tuesday, April 3, 2007
ASKING THE UNIVERSE
While dining at my friend’s house recently, I expressed how happy I was that a family reunion to celebrate our mother's birthday went so smoothly and lovingly. I mentioned to my friend that I had concerns prior to the reunion because my mother and sister have had a long history of disharmony and suffering. My reluctance to go had heightened when I noticed my sister, who had come to my house two days prior to the reunion, was still harboring some resentment toward our mother. I told my friend that the night before going to our mother’s house, I informed my sister that if she still felt angry toward our mom that I would prefer to let her go alone and that I would celebrate next week with mom. Then upon retiring, I asked the Universe to bring about a cleansing between my mom and sister, (Ho'oponopono). Voila! the next morning, my sister (after having read from Byron Katie's book "Loving What Is") woke up with a realization that she could just drop the story and let it all go. My friend replied, “Jarl, that was you, you did that, not the Universe." I explained to her that I realize the Universe and I are one and the same, yet I prefer to say, “the Universe did it” so my ego does not attach to the “miracle” and trip out. This way I feel gratitude rather than pride. I was not quite sure that we were actually saying the same thing, although we kept saying the same thing, like, “You are the Universe, I am the Universe." So, for my own sake and for the sake of clarity, (a glass of wine or two had us all talking at once.) I would like to explain what I meant.
When I say, "the Universe and I are one and the same", I mean that, prior to and including the conditioning that I have gathered since birth, I am the Universe experiencing itself as a Jarl. This very unique conditioning which has layered itself upon the Truth of who I Am, has been so intriguing that I have become identified with it, as it. This identification as I see it, is a very necessary and unavoidable step in the process of awakening. In order to "Know Thyself", it is necessary to separate or step out of the Self to see the Self. This separation and subsequent reunion seems to me the purpose of life. I view life as the One Life Power individuating into seemingly separate entities, "us”, in order to experience itself. Our individual lives mirror that process in order to experience the Truth of who we are: the One Life Power having an experience of Itself.
We are two, the ego/conditioned self and the True Self, until we awaken to the Truth of our Oneness. The yin/yang symbol gives a visual image of this concept. The outer circle represents the whole, the Truth. The two equal sides represented by black and white with the opposite found within each side, demonstrates the existence of the polarities. In order to describe or label anything, we must have an opposite with which to compare. To have black, there must be white. To have male, there must be female. To have wrong, there must be right, to have goodness, there must be the bad, and on it goes. Within this polarity we live our lives and experience our preferences. I like this I don’t like that, etc. We become identified with these preferences as who we are. This identification, being polarized on one side or the other, is what causes our suffering. The True Self exists as the outer ring of the circle. That is, it encompasses the whole and resides in the balance, the curvy line in between, being aware of the poles and yet not identified with either, just enjoying the interplay. When we think something is bad or good, wrong or right, etc. we are polarized on one side or the other, out of balance, and out of Truth. I’m not saying this is wrong, it’s life as we live it, just not the Truth, not the whole picture.
When I see something as out of harmony, as I did my sister and mother, I’m seeing from my conditioned ego, which has its preferences and judgments. When what I see causes me suffering, I know I am out of alignment with Truth and coming from my ego. If I desire to see it from Truth and get out of the suffering, I ask the Universe, my True Self (Me) to align the ego-identified self (me) with Truth. That’s when the “miracle” happens and I see harmony, joy, love and peace.
I am the one who is asking and I am the one who is asked, and yet to acknowledge the two, the separation, brings me from ego-identification into the awareness of the ONE-ness. It works for me.
When I say, "the Universe and I are one and the same", I mean that, prior to and including the conditioning that I have gathered since birth, I am the Universe experiencing itself as a Jarl. This very unique conditioning which has layered itself upon the Truth of who I Am, has been so intriguing that I have become identified with it, as it. This identification as I see it, is a very necessary and unavoidable step in the process of awakening. In order to "Know Thyself", it is necessary to separate or step out of the Self to see the Self. This separation and subsequent reunion seems to me the purpose of life. I view life as the One Life Power individuating into seemingly separate entities, "us”, in order to experience itself. Our individual lives mirror that process in order to experience the Truth of who we are: the One Life Power having an experience of Itself.
We are two, the ego/conditioned self and the True Self, until we awaken to the Truth of our Oneness. The yin/yang symbol gives a visual image of this concept. The outer circle represents the whole, the Truth. The two equal sides represented by black and white with the opposite found within each side, demonstrates the existence of the polarities. In order to describe or label anything, we must have an opposite with which to compare. To have black, there must be white. To have male, there must be female. To have wrong, there must be right, to have goodness, there must be the bad, and on it goes. Within this polarity we live our lives and experience our preferences. I like this I don’t like that, etc. We become identified with these preferences as who we are. This identification, being polarized on one side or the other, is what causes our suffering. The True Self exists as the outer ring of the circle. That is, it encompasses the whole and resides in the balance, the curvy line in between, being aware of the poles and yet not identified with either, just enjoying the interplay. When we think something is bad or good, wrong or right, etc. we are polarized on one side or the other, out of balance, and out of Truth. I’m not saying this is wrong, it’s life as we live it, just not the Truth, not the whole picture.
When I see something as out of harmony, as I did my sister and mother, I’m seeing from my conditioned ego, which has its preferences and judgments. When what I see causes me suffering, I know I am out of alignment with Truth and coming from my ego. If I desire to see it from Truth and get out of the suffering, I ask the Universe, my True Self (Me) to align the ego-identified self (me) with Truth. That’s when the “miracle” happens and I see harmony, joy, love and peace.
I am the one who is asking and I am the one who is asked, and yet to acknowledge the two, the separation, brings me from ego-identification into the awareness of the ONE-ness. It works for me.
Thursday, March 15, 2007
The Secret
There is much ado about the newly released book and film “The Secret.” It’s been discussed on Oprah and even Larry King Live. There’s flack coming from all angles, from those who think the concept is ridiculous, those who have experienced it as true but think it has been explained it in a crass way, to those who are enlightened and know we are not the doers. The concept is this: We can create our reality by our thoughts.
When misunderstood, this concept can definitely rile people who are not living life to their satisfaction or those who have a major illness or a particular difficulty for which they don’t want to be made to feel responsible. They look at the notion as if it is saying they are guilty for not creating better and so they reject the whole idea. This is an unfortunate misunderstanding for this concept is meant to empower, which it does when applied correctly, not foster victim thinking.
There are those seekers who are looking for “the secret” which will change life into a perfectly pleasant experience. This can present a problem because there is a lot of conditioning in the way of our getting what we think we would want if we had it, which is why we don’t have it. This conditioning can be pretty thick and resistant to superficial changes.
There are those who are perhaps more enlightened who reject it because they know “the Truth” that we are not the “doer”, that life is being lived through us and the aspect of the self who we think we are, the ego, is just narrating the experience all along the way as if it were doing it and is the one causing all the problems. Their advice is to stop believing the mind and enjoy it all. This is a little tough without some technology to help drop the story. Byron Katie's work comes in handy here.
Personally, I liked “The Secret” and, I can understand all the criticism. I remember 30 years ago when I first heard the concept that we create our own reality. I hated it until I worked and worked to prove it wrong, only to prove it was right. At the time, that was a wonderful discovery for me, although, it took many years for me to really believe that each time something I asked for came to be, it was not just a fluke. I finally started to believe. Then, after many more years, I got tired of “creating my own reality” and frustrated with the parts that were not changing so easily. No matter how much I got what I asked for, there was always another want around the corner. It felt like too much work. Then, I had the experience of my first surrender. Ahhhh. That is living and in my opinion, the real Secret! Surrender! The Universe does it so much better than I can ever imagine. It’s fun to dream and think up possibilities but I must say, the Universe comes up with such cooler realities when I just get out of the way. I still ask, as if I am a co-creator and maybe I am. I always ask for what I want or something better, for the highest purpose of all involved. Then I let go and see if what I had in mind comes at all close to what the Universe has in store for me. It’s usually in close alignment, but way cooler. I am after all, creating from a smaller viewpoint
I agree with those enlightened folks who say we are not doing it. But I don’t think I would have gotten to the point of turning my challenges over to the Universe had I not gone through the different stages. Is that true? I can’t know that it is. It was just my way. Enlightenment is a moment by moment thing. It comes to some in an instant and perhaps stays. It comes to others as a gradual awakening. To those of us who are taking the gradual path, "The Secret" is a good beginning. Just don't get caught there.
Colin Tipping, founder of Radical Forgiveness wrote a blog on “The Secret”. Following is a response I wrote to his blog.
Dear Colin,
I really like your work of Radical Forgiveness. In your blog about "The Secret" you say, "It’s all about us.... Without there being anything approaching a self-transcending mission there is a complete lack of any real notion of helping others."
I have a few thoughts on that point. One is that, only our egos "think" there is a need to "help" others, or that we could know what it is another soul would need in order to evolve along their path. To think that something "should" be different than it is, is to be out of alignment with Truth, or what is. That is not to say that one would never be moved to help another, but that movement would arise spontaneously if it were coming from Source rather than ego. My second thought regards the quest for personal satisfaction of material needs attainment. This, in my experience, is a necessary beginning step in the process of spiritual development moving toward surrender to Source. One must have the truly personal experiences over and over again to realize it is not a "fluke" to "ask and receive". When one continuously has that experience of asking for their preference, letting go of attachment to the result showing up as they think it should or as they want it, and being willing to receive in what ever way Source or the Universe, or God, (whatever one prefers to call the Beneficent Force) wants to give it, then we find, over and over that this Force knows so much better than we personally do, what it is we are truly wanting and gives it to us in that way. This leads to trust, gratitude and surrender. It is something that must be tried and experienced over and over again. "The Secret" is recommending starting at the beginning as I see it. Those who are ready will try it. Those who are not ready, will scoff at it until they are ready. We can't force evolution in others as much as our egos would like to.
Thanks for all your work. I really appreciate it.
Jarl Forsman
When misunderstood, this concept can definitely rile people who are not living life to their satisfaction or those who have a major illness or a particular difficulty for which they don’t want to be made to feel responsible. They look at the notion as if it is saying they are guilty for not creating better and so they reject the whole idea. This is an unfortunate misunderstanding for this concept is meant to empower, which it does when applied correctly, not foster victim thinking.
There are those seekers who are looking for “the secret” which will change life into a perfectly pleasant experience. This can present a problem because there is a lot of conditioning in the way of our getting what we think we would want if we had it, which is why we don’t have it. This conditioning can be pretty thick and resistant to superficial changes.
There are those who are perhaps more enlightened who reject it because they know “the Truth” that we are not the “doer”, that life is being lived through us and the aspect of the self who we think we are, the ego, is just narrating the experience all along the way as if it were doing it and is the one causing all the problems. Their advice is to stop believing the mind and enjoy it all. This is a little tough without some technology to help drop the story. Byron Katie's work comes in handy here.
Personally, I liked “The Secret” and, I can understand all the criticism. I remember 30 years ago when I first heard the concept that we create our own reality. I hated it until I worked and worked to prove it wrong, only to prove it was right. At the time, that was a wonderful discovery for me, although, it took many years for me to really believe that each time something I asked for came to be, it was not just a fluke. I finally started to believe. Then, after many more years, I got tired of “creating my own reality” and frustrated with the parts that were not changing so easily. No matter how much I got what I asked for, there was always another want around the corner. It felt like too much work. Then, I had the experience of my first surrender. Ahhhh. That is living and in my opinion, the real Secret! Surrender! The Universe does it so much better than I can ever imagine. It’s fun to dream and think up possibilities but I must say, the Universe comes up with such cooler realities when I just get out of the way. I still ask, as if I am a co-creator and maybe I am. I always ask for what I want or something better, for the highest purpose of all involved. Then I let go and see if what I had in mind comes at all close to what the Universe has in store for me. It’s usually in close alignment, but way cooler. I am after all, creating from a smaller viewpoint
I agree with those enlightened folks who say we are not doing it. But I don’t think I would have gotten to the point of turning my challenges over to the Universe had I not gone through the different stages. Is that true? I can’t know that it is. It was just my way. Enlightenment is a moment by moment thing. It comes to some in an instant and perhaps stays. It comes to others as a gradual awakening. To those of us who are taking the gradual path, "The Secret" is a good beginning. Just don't get caught there.
Colin Tipping, founder of Radical Forgiveness wrote a blog on “The Secret”. Following is a response I wrote to his blog.
Dear Colin,
I really like your work of Radical Forgiveness. In your blog about "The Secret" you say, "It’s all about us.... Without there being anything approaching a self-transcending mission there is a complete lack of any real notion of helping others."
I have a few thoughts on that point. One is that, only our egos "think" there is a need to "help" others, or that we could know what it is another soul would need in order to evolve along their path. To think that something "should" be different than it is, is to be out of alignment with Truth, or what is. That is not to say that one would never be moved to help another, but that movement would arise spontaneously if it were coming from Source rather than ego. My second thought regards the quest for personal satisfaction of material needs attainment. This, in my experience, is a necessary beginning step in the process of spiritual development moving toward surrender to Source. One must have the truly personal experiences over and over again to realize it is not a "fluke" to "ask and receive". When one continuously has that experience of asking for their preference, letting go of attachment to the result showing up as they think it should or as they want it, and being willing to receive in what ever way Source or the Universe, or God, (whatever one prefers to call the Beneficent Force) wants to give it, then we find, over and over that this Force knows so much better than we personally do, what it is we are truly wanting and gives it to us in that way. This leads to trust, gratitude and surrender. It is something that must be tried and experienced over and over again. "The Secret" is recommending starting at the beginning as I see it. Those who are ready will try it. Those who are not ready, will scoff at it until they are ready. We can't force evolution in others as much as our egos would like to.
Thanks for all your work. I really appreciate it.
Jarl Forsman
Monday, March 12, 2007
The Om' Aha Coincidence
Last week, Steve and I were in Omaha, Nebraska on our way to Lincoln to help move his grandmother into an assisted living apartment. While planning our trip we decided to stay a couple of days in Omaha because I had never been there. I figured that, with a name that "begins with a mantra and ends with enlightenment or at least a laugh", Omaha might be an interesting place to visit.
On our first day, we decide to walk around “The Old Market” district. We wander in and out of the wonderfully renovated old brick buildings into boutiques with whimsical arts and crafts, spiritual bookstores and galleries where we have an inspiring conversation with a local painter. We are crossing the street and Steve sees a sign on a storefront, which reads “Om’Aha Healing Arts Center.” “Look Jarl!” he exclaims, “they spell it like you say it!” I look over and see the sign and a window full of Buddha heads and sacred images from the East. Ooh, this is my kind of place. I feel myself almost being pulled across the street as Steve says, "It's closed." I see a woman walk up to the door, someone on the inside unlocks it to let her in and then locks it again. I keep moving forward. I’ll just look in the window if nothing else. As I approach the door, the woman unlocks it again and says, “You look like you are on a mission to get in here!” “May I?” I ask. She smiles and tells me to come on in. Steve follows me in.
Beyond the small import section with sacred images, incense and candles, we find a wonderfully renovated space for tai chi, yoga and other events. Sandy Aquila, the owner and creator of the center and former “on tour” massage therapist for Sting, invites us to sit and enjoy one of the therapeutic tea blends at the world’s only Tibetan sand painting tea bar, painted on site by a group of Tibetan Monks from Drepung Gomang Monastery in Karnataka, India in honor of the opening of the center. They serve a variety of elixirs for wellbeing. We sit down. I feel so at home.
The Om Center is usually closed on Sundays except for an occasional private session or special event. Today, Sandy is hosting two acupuncturists from Florida. They are longtime friends of hers who have come for the weekend to offer facial acupuncture sessions. A woman emerges from the floor below, with a relaxed, fresh and peaceful aura about her. “Was the treatment good?” I ask. “Ahhhhh”, she answers, “it was heavenly.” The acupuncturist, Yvonne Woodson, who just performed her magic on this woman also emerges and slips behind the counter to prepare herself some tea. Sandy introduces us and we chat about her particular technique of acupuncture. Her partner, who is a Tibetan Lama and acupuncturist, soon joins us from one of the therapy rooms below. They both also happen to be tai chi teachers and Sandy mentions to them that I teach tai chi in Berkeley, California. Yvonne, looks up from her cup and says, “You don’t happen to know Tish Woodson, do you?” My mouth drops in amazement as I answer, “Tish has been a student of mine for at least 12 years.” Yvonne smiles and says, “She’s my former mother-in-law and the grandmother of my two children,” “Oh my gosh! I know of you!” I exclaim. Yvonne picks up her cell phone and says, “Let’s call Tish and surprise her.” She dials her number. “Hi Tish, how are you? I’m having tea with someone who wants to say hi to you.” She hands me the phone. “Hey Tish, it’s Jarl!” “Jarl? What are you doing with Yvonne?” We all have a good chuckle about the “coincidence”.
What are the chances of our meeting? Yvonne, who lives in Florida, has never been to Omaha. I have never been to Omaha, and here we are together in the Om Center drinking tea.
Five hours after walking through the door, Steve and I leave the Om Center and get on with our journey. Isn’t life a trip?
On our first day, we decide to walk around “The Old Market” district. We wander in and out of the wonderfully renovated old brick buildings into boutiques with whimsical arts and crafts, spiritual bookstores and galleries where we have an inspiring conversation with a local painter. We are crossing the street and Steve sees a sign on a storefront, which reads “Om’Aha Healing Arts Center.” “Look Jarl!” he exclaims, “they spell it like you say it!” I look over and see the sign and a window full of Buddha heads and sacred images from the East. Ooh, this is my kind of place. I feel myself almost being pulled across the street as Steve says, "It's closed." I see a woman walk up to the door, someone on the inside unlocks it to let her in and then locks it again. I keep moving forward. I’ll just look in the window if nothing else. As I approach the door, the woman unlocks it again and says, “You look like you are on a mission to get in here!” “May I?” I ask. She smiles and tells me to come on in. Steve follows me in.
Beyond the small import section with sacred images, incense and candles, we find a wonderfully renovated space for tai chi, yoga and other events. Sandy Aquila, the owner and creator of the center and former “on tour” massage therapist for Sting, invites us to sit and enjoy one of the therapeutic tea blends at the world’s only Tibetan sand painting tea bar, painted on site by a group of Tibetan Monks from Drepung Gomang Monastery in Karnataka, India in honor of the opening of the center. They serve a variety of elixirs for wellbeing. We sit down. I feel so at home.
The Om Center is usually closed on Sundays except for an occasional private session or special event. Today, Sandy is hosting two acupuncturists from Florida. They are longtime friends of hers who have come for the weekend to offer facial acupuncture sessions. A woman emerges from the floor below, with a relaxed, fresh and peaceful aura about her. “Was the treatment good?” I ask. “Ahhhhh”, she answers, “it was heavenly.” The acupuncturist, Yvonne Woodson, who just performed her magic on this woman also emerges and slips behind the counter to prepare herself some tea. Sandy introduces us and we chat about her particular technique of acupuncture. Her partner, who is a Tibetan Lama and acupuncturist, soon joins us from one of the therapy rooms below. They both also happen to be tai chi teachers and Sandy mentions to them that I teach tai chi in Berkeley, California. Yvonne, looks up from her cup and says, “You don’t happen to know Tish Woodson, do you?” My mouth drops in amazement as I answer, “Tish has been a student of mine for at least 12 years.” Yvonne smiles and says, “She’s my former mother-in-law and the grandmother of my two children,” “Oh my gosh! I know of you!” I exclaim. Yvonne picks up her cell phone and says, “Let’s call Tish and surprise her.” She dials her number. “Hi Tish, how are you? I’m having tea with someone who wants to say hi to you.” She hands me the phone. “Hey Tish, it’s Jarl!” “Jarl? What are you doing with Yvonne?” We all have a good chuckle about the “coincidence”.
What are the chances of our meeting? Yvonne, who lives in Florida, has never been to Omaha. I have never been to Omaha, and here we are together in the Om Center drinking tea.
Five hours after walking through the door, Steve and I leave the Om Center and get on with our journey. Isn’t life a trip?
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Byron Katie
Bryon Katie has a new book out with her husband Stephen Mitchell called, "A Thousand Names For Joy". In this book, she responds to excerpts from Mitchell's translation of the "Tao Te Ching" by Lao Tzu. She personalizes each of the concepts to such an extent that it brings a wonderfully refreshing and accessible perspective to these timeless gems of wisdom. Her approach to life is from a place of wholeness. Neither good and bad nor right and wrong exist for her. She sees everything as just right and the present moment as a beautiful gift. Even death is seen with understanding and as a natural part of the whole of existence.
Reading her new book brings chuckles out loud regarding subject matter that would otherwise seem too tragic to laugh about. I was relating one of her stories this morning to my tai chi class. As I mentioned, with a giggle, that as a result of occasional blindness from a degenerative eye disease, she falls down on the floor, one of my students says, “That’s not very nice to be laughing about!” “Oh, but that is just the point,” I said. She falls down and thinks, “Ah, I guess it’s time to rest.” She then proceeds to enjoy the feeling of the cool floor, the melodious sound of the phone ringing and the rhythm of the knock at the back door. She just doesn’t find a problem anywhere.
I had the delightful and truly awesome opportunity to meet and spend time with her, riding in a car, walking together and over lunch. She is beautiful beyond words. Doing her work over the past 12 years has made a phenomenal difference in my life, from thinking I had to create and control myself and others to allowing life to flow through me with a joyful witnessing and gratitude.
If you haven’t had the experience of seeing her in person or reading her books, make it a must-do. As Eckhart Tolle says, “Byron Katie’s Work is a great blessing for our planet. The root cause of suffering is identification with our thoughts, the ‘stories’ that are continuously running through our minds. Byron Katie’s Work acts like a razor-sharp sword that cuts through that illusion and enables you to know for yourself the timeless essence of your being. Joy, peace, and love emanate from it as your natural state.”
Find out when and where you can see her in action, or at least find and read her books. She has three books: "Loving What Is", "I Need Your Love, Is That True?", and "A Thousand Names For Joy". You can also check out her website: www.thework.com
Reading her new book brings chuckles out loud regarding subject matter that would otherwise seem too tragic to laugh about. I was relating one of her stories this morning to my tai chi class. As I mentioned, with a giggle, that as a result of occasional blindness from a degenerative eye disease, she falls down on the floor, one of my students says, “That’s not very nice to be laughing about!” “Oh, but that is just the point,” I said. She falls down and thinks, “Ah, I guess it’s time to rest.” She then proceeds to enjoy the feeling of the cool floor, the melodious sound of the phone ringing and the rhythm of the knock at the back door. She just doesn’t find a problem anywhere.
I had the delightful and truly awesome opportunity to meet and spend time with her, riding in a car, walking together and over lunch. She is beautiful beyond words. Doing her work over the past 12 years has made a phenomenal difference in my life, from thinking I had to create and control myself and others to allowing life to flow through me with a joyful witnessing and gratitude.
If you haven’t had the experience of seeing her in person or reading her books, make it a must-do. As Eckhart Tolle says, “Byron Katie’s Work is a great blessing for our planet. The root cause of suffering is identification with our thoughts, the ‘stories’ that are continuously running through our minds. Byron Katie’s Work acts like a razor-sharp sword that cuts through that illusion and enables you to know for yourself the timeless essence of your being. Joy, peace, and love emanate from it as your natural state.”
Find out when and where you can see her in action, or at least find and read her books. She has three books: "Loving What Is", "I Need Your Love, Is That True?", and "A Thousand Names For Joy". You can also check out her website: www.thework.com
Tuesday, February 6, 2007
Two Tales
Neil, a friend and former student of mine, and I were discussing the lesson of a Zen/Taoist tale. Neither of us could remember the actual tale but the lesson was that happiness/contentment/peace was to be found within. Neil, in trying to recall it, described it like this: A man is discontent with his life so he keeps moving to different places in search of peace, only to find he's never satisfied. The ending alludes to the fact that his problem would never be solved by where he goes, because the problems are inside of him and can only be solved by his own awakening to the Truth. That no matter how hard he looked outwardly, he would still only find what he was looking for, within. I was searching my brain for the actual tale, which I have failed so far, but in the search I recalled this one and another favorite story of mine on a similar but slightly different theme.
The first one is about a traveller who wanders into the outskirts of a town and upon seeing an old man sitting along side the road, approaches him and asks, "What are the people like in this town?" The old man answers with a question, "Tell me, what were they like in the town from whence you came?" "They were rude and unfriendly and I really didn't like it there!" the traveller answers. "Oh," says the old man, "I"m afraid that's what you will find here, too." So the traveller sits down with the old man along side the road to think about where to go next. After a short while, along comes another traveller who approaches the old man with the same question. Again the old man answers, "What were the people like in the town from whence you came?" "Oh," answers the second traveller, "they were wonderfully friendly people. "Ah," says the old man, "that's just what they are like here!"
The second tale is a story about a man who has fallen out of love with his wife and goes to the minister of his church to ask for advice on what to do with his situation. He tells the minister that he no longer loves his wife and is suffering so because he doesn’t want to break up his family and yet since he doesn’t love her anymore, the only thing he can think of to do is divorce her.
“Oh,” says the minister, “the thing to do to solve the problem is to love her!” “But, that’s just it,” says the husband, “I don’t”. “Yes,” says the minister, “I know, that’s the problem. You don’t love her. You must love her to solve the problem.” The husband doesn’t understand. The minister explains, “You think love is a noun, something you find or fall into. But love is a verb. It is something you give or extend to another. If you start to extend love to her, you will begin to feel love for her again. What you give is what you feel. You started out loving her and so you felt love. If you want to solve your problem, go and give her love."
I remember the “aha” I experienced when I first heard that story. Love feels automatic at first as if we just “fall” into it. A little later, the ego steps in and starts to judge whether this person is worthy of our love. We begin to judge everything they do because we are projecting our own lack of self-love on the other. In Truth, there is nothing but love. Love is what we are. An enlightened being sees only the beloved in whomever they look upon. It is only the ego choosing to exclude. Of course, we have our personal preferences in terms of who shares our values and interests, but love, in the true sense of the word, does not leave a soul out.
Think of how wonderful we would all feel if we never stopped loving, if we just changed the nature of our relationships when they no longer fit our values or interests, but kept on loving and honoring the other. We all grow and change and sometimes in very different ways. Sometimes it is necessary to reactivate the love and renew the relationship. Sometimes it is necessary to let go of a relationship as it is, but keep the love.
The first one is about a traveller who wanders into the outskirts of a town and upon seeing an old man sitting along side the road, approaches him and asks, "What are the people like in this town?" The old man answers with a question, "Tell me, what were they like in the town from whence you came?" "They were rude and unfriendly and I really didn't like it there!" the traveller answers. "Oh," says the old man, "I"m afraid that's what you will find here, too." So the traveller sits down with the old man along side the road to think about where to go next. After a short while, along comes another traveller who approaches the old man with the same question. Again the old man answers, "What were the people like in the town from whence you came?" "Oh," answers the second traveller, "they were wonderfully friendly people. "Ah," says the old man, "that's just what they are like here!"
The second tale is a story about a man who has fallen out of love with his wife and goes to the minister of his church to ask for advice on what to do with his situation. He tells the minister that he no longer loves his wife and is suffering so because he doesn’t want to break up his family and yet since he doesn’t love her anymore, the only thing he can think of to do is divorce her.
“Oh,” says the minister, “the thing to do to solve the problem is to love her!” “But, that’s just it,” says the husband, “I don’t”. “Yes,” says the minister, “I know, that’s the problem. You don’t love her. You must love her to solve the problem.” The husband doesn’t understand. The minister explains, “You think love is a noun, something you find or fall into. But love is a verb. It is something you give or extend to another. If you start to extend love to her, you will begin to feel love for her again. What you give is what you feel. You started out loving her and so you felt love. If you want to solve your problem, go and give her love."
I remember the “aha” I experienced when I first heard that story. Love feels automatic at first as if we just “fall” into it. A little later, the ego steps in and starts to judge whether this person is worthy of our love. We begin to judge everything they do because we are projecting our own lack of self-love on the other. In Truth, there is nothing but love. Love is what we are. An enlightened being sees only the beloved in whomever they look upon. It is only the ego choosing to exclude. Of course, we have our personal preferences in terms of who shares our values and interests, but love, in the true sense of the word, does not leave a soul out.
Think of how wonderful we would all feel if we never stopped loving, if we just changed the nature of our relationships when they no longer fit our values or interests, but kept on loving and honoring the other. We all grow and change and sometimes in very different ways. Sometimes it is necessary to reactivate the love and renew the relationship. Sometimes it is necessary to let go of a relationship as it is, but keep the love.
Thursday, February 1, 2007
The Deadly Comfort Zone
We are so addicted to our comfort zones. Rare is the person who has the courage to live their potential and express his or her innate or cultivated gifts. As it says in the Gospel of Thomas, “That which is within us and expressed will set us free. That which is within us and not expressed will eat us inside.” If we don’t express our gifts, they will wither. We lose what we don’t use.
We are so much greater than we think we are. We have unlimited support that we rarely tap into. We settle for so much less than we have available to us. We shortchange ourselves, and our creator by not living as expanded as we can, all in the name of comfort and fear of stepping out of that zone. Unfortunately, what we call the comfort zone is the zone that will eat us inside.
I know, all too well, that zone that can eat us inside. I also know the feeling of stepping out of the zone, the fear as well as the exhilaration of doing so. That comfort zone feels pretty good for a while, especially if life has been challenging. Yet, it never stays comfortable. The urge to grow and evolve is a pull from a force much larger than our mini-me self. If we resist that pull we experience the wrath of that force. Our creator does not want to be held back from expanding us into who we are meant to be. Our bodies, our minds, our emotions all speak out when we ignore our inner urge to fly.
If we pay attention to what we desire, to what our hearts ache for, we get a clue to what we are here for. We all know deep within us what that is, but most of us are so distracted from that place of knowing that we spend our lives just getting by. Imagine living your life feeling as if everything you do is just what you want to be doing. Imagine a world where everyone is doing just what we want. Why would we live any differently? Why are so many of us living lives of drudgery? I believe it is because we are afraid to step up to the plate and swing. We are conditioned to believe that we are unworthy, too young, too old, not smart enough…the list goes on and on. But it’s not true! We are all worthy or we wouldn’t be here. Our dreams want us as much as we want them.
I believe all disorders whether physical, emotional or mental stem from the withering of potential, our dreams unlived. Our bodies try to tell us, our emotions try to tell us, but we often fail to listen. Imagine if we spent our time, moment by moment, listening to our hearts and, coming from integrity, acted on what our hearts were calling for. We are all ONE expressing, as leaves on a tree express their individual selves. Just as the leaves are part of the same tree, dependent on the force of the tree for their lives, we are all dependent on the same force, which animates our lives. Why would a force, which animates us, not want to be expressed fully? When we allow the force to move through us expressing, we experience enormous power and flow. It’s not in our strategies and manipulations that we find our way, but in our surrender, allowing the Divine Force to do its thing!
We are so much greater than we think we are. We have unlimited support that we rarely tap into. We settle for so much less than we have available to us. We shortchange ourselves, and our creator by not living as expanded as we can, all in the name of comfort and fear of stepping out of that zone. Unfortunately, what we call the comfort zone is the zone that will eat us inside.
I know, all too well, that zone that can eat us inside. I also know the feeling of stepping out of the zone, the fear as well as the exhilaration of doing so. That comfort zone feels pretty good for a while, especially if life has been challenging. Yet, it never stays comfortable. The urge to grow and evolve is a pull from a force much larger than our mini-me self. If we resist that pull we experience the wrath of that force. Our creator does not want to be held back from expanding us into who we are meant to be. Our bodies, our minds, our emotions all speak out when we ignore our inner urge to fly.
If we pay attention to what we desire, to what our hearts ache for, we get a clue to what we are here for. We all know deep within us what that is, but most of us are so distracted from that place of knowing that we spend our lives just getting by. Imagine living your life feeling as if everything you do is just what you want to be doing. Imagine a world where everyone is doing just what we want. Why would we live any differently? Why are so many of us living lives of drudgery? I believe it is because we are afraid to step up to the plate and swing. We are conditioned to believe that we are unworthy, too young, too old, not smart enough…the list goes on and on. But it’s not true! We are all worthy or we wouldn’t be here. Our dreams want us as much as we want them.
I believe all disorders whether physical, emotional or mental stem from the withering of potential, our dreams unlived. Our bodies try to tell us, our emotions try to tell us, but we often fail to listen. Imagine if we spent our time, moment by moment, listening to our hearts and, coming from integrity, acted on what our hearts were calling for. We are all ONE expressing, as leaves on a tree express their individual selves. Just as the leaves are part of the same tree, dependent on the force of the tree for their lives, we are all dependent on the same force, which animates our lives. Why would a force, which animates us, not want to be expressed fully? When we allow the force to move through us expressing, we experience enormous power and flow. It’s not in our strategies and manipulations that we find our way, but in our surrender, allowing the Divine Force to do its thing!
Thursday, January 18, 2007
IT’S ALL GOOD!
Whatever is going on in our lives is exactly what’s suppose to be going on in our lives, exactly as it is going on. If it is something we don’t like, we may complain and feel victimized or get angry and lash out. That rarely does anyone any good. There is no alternate reality from which the current one has deviated. This is it, baby, like it or not. This may sound harsh, insensitive and even fatalistic, but the truth is, if you wish to accept the challenge and gift the present has to offer, it’s incredibly empowering. Far from being “mission impossible” as some of our challenges may seem, what we are given is just what is in the way of our next leap in personal growth or personal evolution. Were these challenges not arising at this time, we would not have the opportunity to overcome and step up to our new level of being.
A friend of mine was expressing her resentment at her sister for “dumping” a responsibility on her that she felt belonged to her sister. She was angry because her sister was lollygagging around the world unconcerned and in avoidance of a situation she had indirectly created. As I listened to her tell her story, it was so very obvious to me that the situation was just as it should be. I could see that my friend would do a much better job of the task at hand. After hearing a little history, it was clear that the sister, although doing the best she could do at the time, had made a pretty big mess out of things as they were. My friend, in a moment of clarity, had actually volunteered to step in and help out in the situation. It was working out well, although she was resenting it. I told her that the only thing that was out of order was her feelings of resentment. “The situation is working fine, you volunteered and are enjoying handling it, and all is well right now. Your resentment will be felt subconsciously if not consciously and that will have a negative affect. Let go of thinking it should be other than it is, be grateful for the opportunity to help, and recognize when you’ve done all you can do then release yourself.” I said. She took my words to heart and realized she was causing her own suffering and decided to let it go. She called later and told me a big weight had been lifted off her shoulders. The weight wasn’t the responsibility; it was her resentment of it.
When I notice an uncomfortable pattern showing up in my life, I know it is time to work on “that one”. Something that is “up” for me right now is my “issue” of not feeling listened to or seen. My parents were both on the slightly unhealthy side of the narcissism continuum and were quite a bit more interested in what they had to say or with what they were feeling or doing than with anything that may have been going on in my life or mind. As a matter of fact, they knew very little about what was really going on in my life. (I must say, I liked that just a little bit. But, it didn’t do much for my feeling “seen and heard”). I have to give them credit here for not pushing their agenda on me as some parents do. I was just fine as far as they were concerned. They wanted me to be happy and gave me much freedom in choosing my path. It’s just that they weren’t all that interested in my path because they were so caught up in their own. I remember times when I would be talking with my dad and he would break into the middle of my sentence and begin his as if I hadn’t even been speaking. Or my mom, when I told her I was hired as dance instructor after having danced my whole life and assisted teaching tai chi on TV said, “Oh, will they accept just anyone?” Whew! Where had she been? Certainly not paying attention to my life.
A few days ago I asked one of my tai chi classes of nearly 20 people to read my most recent blog. I told them it was an interesting story of a former student of mine whom they all knew. They cried out “no, tell us now, we don’t want to have to read your blog, we don’t have time.” I know that nothing is ever to be taken personally, but I must admit, my feelings were hurt. They didn’t want to check out my blog? At first my thoughts ran something like this: “cikerifmmfked, what am I doing with this group who couldn’t care less about something I am so enjoying doing and doing partly for them.” Then I remembered. They are my teachers pointing out something I need to look at. And then the “Aha, I’ve felt this feeling before” came. My thoughts turned to gratitude and I saw them through different eyes. Instead of blaming them for the way I felt and nursing my wounds, I came home from class and wrote in my journal about how I would like people to relate to me. I have learned to focus on what I want in situations like these rather than on how hurt I feel. I let go of any negative feelings and opened up to feelings of empowerment. I get to choose what I want in life and affirm it. Having, first become consciously aware of my feelings and then, asked, I now expect to see people showing up in my life more in alignment with what I want rather then what I’ve been condition to expect. It’s all good and just perfect!
A friend of mine was expressing her resentment at her sister for “dumping” a responsibility on her that she felt belonged to her sister. She was angry because her sister was lollygagging around the world unconcerned and in avoidance of a situation she had indirectly created. As I listened to her tell her story, it was so very obvious to me that the situation was just as it should be. I could see that my friend would do a much better job of the task at hand. After hearing a little history, it was clear that the sister, although doing the best she could do at the time, had made a pretty big mess out of things as they were. My friend, in a moment of clarity, had actually volunteered to step in and help out in the situation. It was working out well, although she was resenting it. I told her that the only thing that was out of order was her feelings of resentment. “The situation is working fine, you volunteered and are enjoying handling it, and all is well right now. Your resentment will be felt subconsciously if not consciously and that will have a negative affect. Let go of thinking it should be other than it is, be grateful for the opportunity to help, and recognize when you’ve done all you can do then release yourself.” I said. She took my words to heart and realized she was causing her own suffering and decided to let it go. She called later and told me a big weight had been lifted off her shoulders. The weight wasn’t the responsibility; it was her resentment of it.
When I notice an uncomfortable pattern showing up in my life, I know it is time to work on “that one”. Something that is “up” for me right now is my “issue” of not feeling listened to or seen. My parents were both on the slightly unhealthy side of the narcissism continuum and were quite a bit more interested in what they had to say or with what they were feeling or doing than with anything that may have been going on in my life or mind. As a matter of fact, they knew very little about what was really going on in my life. (I must say, I liked that just a little bit. But, it didn’t do much for my feeling “seen and heard”). I have to give them credit here for not pushing their agenda on me as some parents do. I was just fine as far as they were concerned. They wanted me to be happy and gave me much freedom in choosing my path. It’s just that they weren’t all that interested in my path because they were so caught up in their own. I remember times when I would be talking with my dad and he would break into the middle of my sentence and begin his as if I hadn’t even been speaking. Or my mom, when I told her I was hired as dance instructor after having danced my whole life and assisted teaching tai chi on TV said, “Oh, will they accept just anyone?” Whew! Where had she been? Certainly not paying attention to my life.
A few days ago I asked one of my tai chi classes of nearly 20 people to read my most recent blog. I told them it was an interesting story of a former student of mine whom they all knew. They cried out “no, tell us now, we don’t want to have to read your blog, we don’t have time.” I know that nothing is ever to be taken personally, but I must admit, my feelings were hurt. They didn’t want to check out my blog? At first my thoughts ran something like this: “cikerifmmfked, what am I doing with this group who couldn’t care less about something I am so enjoying doing and doing partly for them.” Then I remembered. They are my teachers pointing out something I need to look at. And then the “Aha, I’ve felt this feeling before” came. My thoughts turned to gratitude and I saw them through different eyes. Instead of blaming them for the way I felt and nursing my wounds, I came home from class and wrote in my journal about how I would like people to relate to me. I have learned to focus on what I want in situations like these rather than on how hurt I feel. I let go of any negative feelings and opened up to feelings of empowerment. I get to choose what I want in life and affirm it. Having, first become consciously aware of my feelings and then, asked, I now expect to see people showing up in my life more in alignment with what I want rather then what I’ve been condition to expect. It’s all good and just perfect!
Sunday, January 14, 2007
What do I do with these thoughts, pretend they don't exist?
Valencia asks: I have been practicing positive thinking and exploring opportunities for change and have been doing better with giving up control and having faith that the universe will provide. However, today I realized that although I am making progress I feel in danger of failing because of the negative thoughts about financial disaster that are beginning to haunt me. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do. Pretend these thoughts don't exist? Put more time into meditation?
Jarl Says: It is great that you are in this place because it is an opportunity for you to explore feelings that have surfaced which are in the way of you having what you desire. These fear feelings have to be acknowledged and seen for what they truly are, the ego trying to keep you identified with it. When you see these feelings for what they are and choose to cultivate thoughts that are in alignment with what you really desire, you come into alignment with your Authentic Self. That Self is always in peace and in joy. Please don't cultivate the worry thoughts, it never ever does any good, it only reinforces your subconscious mind to keep creating situations to bring you more fear.
I came across the Japanese word for fear, "osore", in an article written by Yasuhiko Genku Kimura, the founder of Vision In Action. He says, "Osore signifies the misalignment of the self of the individual with the Self of the universe. "O" denotes the sacred thread that connects one’s soul with the Oversoul of the universe, while "sore" denotes the state of disconnection or dislocation from and misalignment with that sacred thread. Osore therefore signifies the errant mode of being wherein one’s soul has gone astray, having lost the original connection and alignment with the Oversoul of the universe."
That really says it! Just know that when you are feeling fearful, you are out of alignment with the sacred thread that supports your every move whether you are aware of it or not. We (the egoic part of us identified with our conditioning who thinks we are separate from others) are truly not the doers! We are being done through. The ego just loves to narrate everything and say it is doing it. Years ago, I had the opportunity to consciously experiment with what it would be like if I dropped all notions of what I "should" be doing and see what it would be like to actually live as if I were not the doer. I consciously stopped "doing" my life. I mean really from moment to moment just watched what I was "moved" to do, no plans, other than the prior commitments like classes, no strategies, just letting myself be moved by whatever moves me. I started out just sitting until something moved me. Within no time, I had to get up and pee, so I did. Then the phone rang and someone asked me to come over and do something. So I did. Then it was time to go. I got in the car and just watched where I was, in the moment, moved to turn...I can't tell you how busy I became just doing what I was moved to do. That is when my design business started. I had no plan for that or even any idea or notion of it. It just happened and keeps going without my doing anything other than what I'm asked to do or moved to do, in the moment. And life is doing me in the way that is in alignment with my inner nature. I'm doing everything right now that I love to do. Nothing more. My weekly "obligations" are completely in alignment with what I love to do. I say yes to something if it feels right to me, and no to what doesn't feel right. I keep my word easily that way. Because, what I'm doing is what I want to be doing, I feel like a "time millionaire". My work and play are all the same.
The key is: trust in the moment which always has all the information you need, follow your hearts desire, and keep those fear thoughts in check. Tell them, "thanks for sharing, Bubeye!"
Jarl Says: It is great that you are in this place because it is an opportunity for you to explore feelings that have surfaced which are in the way of you having what you desire. These fear feelings have to be acknowledged and seen for what they truly are, the ego trying to keep you identified with it. When you see these feelings for what they are and choose to cultivate thoughts that are in alignment with what you really desire, you come into alignment with your Authentic Self. That Self is always in peace and in joy. Please don't cultivate the worry thoughts, it never ever does any good, it only reinforces your subconscious mind to keep creating situations to bring you more fear.
I came across the Japanese word for fear, "osore", in an article written by Yasuhiko Genku Kimura, the founder of Vision In Action. He says, "Osore signifies the misalignment of the self of the individual with the Self of the universe. "O" denotes the sacred thread that connects one’s soul with the Oversoul of the universe, while "sore" denotes the state of disconnection or dislocation from and misalignment with that sacred thread. Osore therefore signifies the errant mode of being wherein one’s soul has gone astray, having lost the original connection and alignment with the Oversoul of the universe."
That really says it! Just know that when you are feeling fearful, you are out of alignment with the sacred thread that supports your every move whether you are aware of it or not. We (the egoic part of us identified with our conditioning who thinks we are separate from others) are truly not the doers! We are being done through. The ego just loves to narrate everything and say it is doing it. Years ago, I had the opportunity to consciously experiment with what it would be like if I dropped all notions of what I "should" be doing and see what it would be like to actually live as if I were not the doer. I consciously stopped "doing" my life. I mean really from moment to moment just watched what I was "moved" to do, no plans, other than the prior commitments like classes, no strategies, just letting myself be moved by whatever moves me. I started out just sitting until something moved me. Within no time, I had to get up and pee, so I did. Then the phone rang and someone asked me to come over and do something. So I did. Then it was time to go. I got in the car and just watched where I was, in the moment, moved to turn...I can't tell you how busy I became just doing what I was moved to do. That is when my design business started. I had no plan for that or even any idea or notion of it. It just happened and keeps going without my doing anything other than what I'm asked to do or moved to do, in the moment. And life is doing me in the way that is in alignment with my inner nature. I'm doing everything right now that I love to do. Nothing more. My weekly "obligations" are completely in alignment with what I love to do. I say yes to something if it feels right to me, and no to what doesn't feel right. I keep my word easily that way. Because, what I'm doing is what I want to be doing, I feel like a "time millionaire". My work and play are all the same.
The key is: trust in the moment which always has all the information you need, follow your hearts desire, and keep those fear thoughts in check. Tell them, "thanks for sharing, Bubeye!"
Friday, January 12, 2007
The Magic of Intention & Happy Birthday, Beth
A few weeks ago I was talking with my dear friend David at a small breakfast party when he mentioned that his wife, Beth had a birthday coming up and he was looking for gift ideas. I've known David for many years and this gift search is a subject which surfaces regularly as a major concern of his. He has, at least once, put it out to our entire tai chi class to solve.
A few days after our breakfast party, my French friend, Marie-Christine, who does this wonderfully relaxing work called "Qi Facial Rejuvenation" was visiting and we were discussing ideas for changes in her brochure. David and Beth came to mind. I thought, Beth might really enjoy this work. I emailed David with Marie-Christine's phone number and a brief discription of her work.
David then called Marie-Christine and asked for a brochure so he had something to actually give to Beth on her birthday. She told him to get a brochure from me, since she had left her brochures at my house for me to play around with. David then called me asking for a brochure, but I didn't hear the message until the next day, so I didn't return his call. When I finally heard the message, I emailed him that I was not having success with my remake of her brochure and didn't really have anything to give him. David didn't see that message and said he had planned on coming to my tai chi class in the morning to pick up the brochure from me. As circumstances had it around his home that morning, he wasn't able to come to the class and it would have been to no avail as I didn't have a brochure anyway. At this point, (which was yesterday) it's the day before Beth's birthday, he's seen my email, has no brochure, and is really wondering what to do.
At around 4pm I receive a phone call from Marie-Christine telling me she has a story for me but she's driving and will call me later. At 6 pm, I receive a phone call from David. "Hey Jarl," he says, "I have a great story for you!
Here's the story now, having heard it from both of them:
Yesterday morning Marie-Christine has the idea to pick up my favorite bread, walnut/cranberry from Acme bakery, drop it by my house and check on the brochures before she heads back across the bay to Marin. She looks in the phone book and sees there is an Acme bakery closer to my house than the one she usually goes to, so she decides to go to that one. She's driving around looking for this bakery and sees a small group of people standing together on this obscure street where she has never been. She stops her car, gets out and asks if anyone knows where the Acme bakery is. Hearing a French accent, David, who is there working on a project, steps foward and says, "By any chance, is your name Marie-Christine?" "Yes," she answers. "I'm David" he says, "the David who has been trying to get your brochure for my wife's present!" They stand there stunned at the amazing syncronicity. Marie-Christine happens to have one brochure in her car which she then hand delivers to David.
How's that for the magic of intention!
Good job, David!
Happy Birthday, Beth!
A few days after our breakfast party, my French friend, Marie-Christine, who does this wonderfully relaxing work called "Qi Facial Rejuvenation" was visiting and we were discussing ideas for changes in her brochure. David and Beth came to mind. I thought, Beth might really enjoy this work. I emailed David with Marie-Christine's phone number and a brief discription of her work.
David then called Marie-Christine and asked for a brochure so he had something to actually give to Beth on her birthday. She told him to get a brochure from me, since she had left her brochures at my house for me to play around with. David then called me asking for a brochure, but I didn't hear the message until the next day, so I didn't return his call. When I finally heard the message, I emailed him that I was not having success with my remake of her brochure and didn't really have anything to give him. David didn't see that message and said he had planned on coming to my tai chi class in the morning to pick up the brochure from me. As circumstances had it around his home that morning, he wasn't able to come to the class and it would have been to no avail as I didn't have a brochure anyway. At this point, (which was yesterday) it's the day before Beth's birthday, he's seen my email, has no brochure, and is really wondering what to do.
At around 4pm I receive a phone call from Marie-Christine telling me she has a story for me but she's driving and will call me later. At 6 pm, I receive a phone call from David. "Hey Jarl," he says, "I have a great story for you!
Here's the story now, having heard it from both of them:
Yesterday morning Marie-Christine has the idea to pick up my favorite bread, walnut/cranberry from Acme bakery, drop it by my house and check on the brochures before she heads back across the bay to Marin. She looks in the phone book and sees there is an Acme bakery closer to my house than the one she usually goes to, so she decides to go to that one. She's driving around looking for this bakery and sees a small group of people standing together on this obscure street where she has never been. She stops her car, gets out and asks if anyone knows where the Acme bakery is. Hearing a French accent, David, who is there working on a project, steps foward and says, "By any chance, is your name Marie-Christine?" "Yes," she answers. "I'm David" he says, "the David who has been trying to get your brochure for my wife's present!" They stand there stunned at the amazing syncronicity. Marie-Christine happens to have one brochure in her car which she then hand delivers to David.
How's that for the magic of intention!
Good job, David!
Happy Birthday, Beth!
Thursday, January 11, 2007
What can I do?
Imagine if our leaders based all their decisions on the teachings of Lao-Tsu, Buddha, or the real teachings of Jesus Christ. It seems our world leaders are not aware of the true spiritual principles and universal laws which govern our lives. I know the difference self-inquiry and living in alignment with universal laws and principles has had on the quality of my life. What if our leaders actually led from that wisdom.
Now when I ask myself what I can do, I realize I can work on becoming more consciously aware of my own projections and radiance. I can remember that what I sow, I reap, not only for myself in my own life, but also for the entire world. I can visualize myself in alignment with Truth. I can act from the place of conscious response rather than unconscious reactivity.
I feel an empowering paradigm shift, in my life when I take responsibility for my own thoughts, words and actions. They return to me in like-kind and create my experience in every moment. We can each make a contribution to that paradigm shift and change the world one person at a time by vigilant and conscious awareness of the quality of thoughts we cultivate, the quality of the words we speak, the quality of our intentions and the quality of our actions. As I experience the difference in my life when I live these principles, I know this difference extends out into the world, one moment at a time.
Now when I ask myself what I can do, I realize I can work on becoming more consciously aware of my own projections and radiance. I can remember that what I sow, I reap, not only for myself in my own life, but also for the entire world. I can visualize myself in alignment with Truth. I can act from the place of conscious response rather than unconscious reactivity.
I feel an empowering paradigm shift, in my life when I take responsibility for my own thoughts, words and actions. They return to me in like-kind and create my experience in every moment. We can each make a contribution to that paradigm shift and change the world one person at a time by vigilant and conscious awareness of the quality of thoughts we cultivate, the quality of the words we speak, the quality of our intentions and the quality of our actions. As I experience the difference in my life when I live these principles, I know this difference extends out into the world, one moment at a time.
Friday, January 5, 2007
Ego versus True Self
Valencia: I think my ego is telling me that I shouldn't even bother to create anything that isn't original and genius. Why do I have so much invested in being a genius? Why can't I just be who I am and enjoy that? Sometimes I am a genius, sometimes I am a fool. That's the truth of it. My ego seems to be telling me I am never good enough, never good enough, never good enough. That belief drains me and stops me from doing things that will refresh my soul so it's a vicious cycle. I think my ego has had too much power and has been sucking my energy badly for years. It's just a matter of balance I think...I need to find a healthier balance of power with my ego.
Can I stop thinking that I need to do something bigger and more profound? I can hear you say, just let that go?. I would like to. You know, I think my ego has been zapping my energy and making my soul sick!
Jarlsays: As far as your ego goes, there is no healthy balance, YOU ARE THE MASTER OF YOUR EGO AND THAT'S THAT. There can't be balance. That's like saying you need to balance out the power structure between you and your dog. You are the boss! The ego is your servant. Tell it so. The ego wants to control and will go to any lengths to stay in control. It usually resorts to scaring and shaming you. Not because it's bad, that's just it's nature. The ego is right about one thing: when you are identified with it, you are not a genius. YOU have to tell it how to behave. No deals. Just kick it's ass into shape. Tell it "thanks for sharing, now go to sleep while I handle this with the big guns" Then ask your True Self to send you genius ideas and create from that place.
We are all geniuses in truth because we are all connected to Divine Intelligence and that's where genius comes from. The only true genius is Divinely Inspired. I turn everything over to the Big Kahuna before I create anything. I can never create anything cool from my little self. As soon as the ego steps in, I get stupid. When you know you are not the creator, that the creation is just coming through you, it takes all the pressure off and you are just totally grateful and graceful, neither ego tripping nor ego identified. The ego is a very uncreative little twit, although clever. Any great master will say they were just the channel for the work to come through. Keep turning it over to your True Self and watch the difference.
The ego is really a much happier camper when you keep it under control. Just like a kid needs to know the boundaries....so does the ego. That's what the whole "surrender" idea is all about. It's surrendering the ego (small self) to the True Self. The ego thinks it knows everything, but is fearful. That's how you know you are in it's grips. The True Self experience is when you feel joy, gratitude, love and trust. It takes practice to stay in the experience of the True Self. It's a continual surrendering and feels weird at first. But, I swear to you, it is far more fabulous to live a surrendered life than the fearful, small life of the mini me.
Ok girlfriend? Love you, Jarl
Can I stop thinking that I need to do something bigger and more profound? I can hear you say, just let that go?. I would like to. You know, I think my ego has been zapping my energy and making my soul sick!
Jarlsays: As far as your ego goes, there is no healthy balance, YOU ARE THE MASTER OF YOUR EGO AND THAT'S THAT. There can't be balance. That's like saying you need to balance out the power structure between you and your dog. You are the boss! The ego is your servant. Tell it so. The ego wants to control and will go to any lengths to stay in control. It usually resorts to scaring and shaming you. Not because it's bad, that's just it's nature. The ego is right about one thing: when you are identified with it, you are not a genius. YOU have to tell it how to behave. No deals. Just kick it's ass into shape. Tell it "thanks for sharing, now go to sleep while I handle this with the big guns" Then ask your True Self to send you genius ideas and create from that place.
We are all geniuses in truth because we are all connected to Divine Intelligence and that's where genius comes from. The only true genius is Divinely Inspired. I turn everything over to the Big Kahuna before I create anything. I can never create anything cool from my little self. As soon as the ego steps in, I get stupid. When you know you are not the creator, that the creation is just coming through you, it takes all the pressure off and you are just totally grateful and graceful, neither ego tripping nor ego identified. The ego is a very uncreative little twit, although clever. Any great master will say they were just the channel for the work to come through. Keep turning it over to your True Self and watch the difference.
The ego is really a much happier camper when you keep it under control. Just like a kid needs to know the boundaries....so does the ego. That's what the whole "surrender" idea is all about. It's surrendering the ego (small self) to the True Self. The ego thinks it knows everything, but is fearful. That's how you know you are in it's grips. The True Self experience is when you feel joy, gratitude, love and trust. It takes practice to stay in the experience of the True Self. It's a continual surrendering and feels weird at first. But, I swear to you, it is far more fabulous to live a surrendered life than the fearful, small life of the mini me.
Ok girlfriend? Love you, Jarl
Thursday, January 4, 2007
Truth = What Is
Whatever is occurring in physical manifestation at any moment is “What is”. The way that we perceive and interpret what is occurring is what creates our experience of life. This unique spin is formulated by our conditioning. Our conditioning comes from the way our parents, teachers, and other authorities reacted to and taught us about life experiences. Their stories came from their parental and authority influences and so on…Many other factors may also contribute to the creation of our conditioning but the important point to realize is that we see through the filter of this conditioning and add our unique combination of interpretations to everything that happens in our lives. No matter how popular or accepted our point of view may be, it is still only our spin. To quote Shakespeare, “There is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so.”
We live in a self-created illusion, a story we tell ourselves and believe with all our hearts. This is what creates our suffering. It also gives us meaning, but we become slaves to this meaning. We hate in the name of our stories. We kill to uphold our stories. Our stories cause sickness and depression. Whichever way we see or spin "what is", whether we designate it good or bad, we are being manipulated and driven by our fears of losing or not getting our “cravings and aversions’, as the Buddha said. The degree to which we are attached to our stories is the extent to which we are not free. Dropping our stories can seem impossible or frightening. What would happen to us if we had no story? Would we still exist?
One way to begin to see through these filters of conditioning is to put our beliefs through an inquiry. A powerful inquiry which Byron Katie teaches in four questions, goes like this: 1) Is it true? 2) Can I absolutely know that it is true? 3) How do I react when I think that thought? 4) Who would I be without the thought? Eckhart Tolle says these questions of Byron Katie’s… “acts like a razor sharp sword that cuts through that illusion and enables you to know for yourself the timeless essence of your being. Joy, peace, and love emanate from it as your natural state.”
Imagine being free from the illusion and being in a state of joy, peace and love. Byron Katie says the only beliefs which we need to inquire about are the ones that cause us suffering. After doing her work for over ten years, I can attest to the fact that there IS something much greater than our stories and our beliefs. Our stories become increasingly boring and limiting as we begin to become free of them. After all, whose story do you want to live, the limited version of your conditioning which came from other’s beliefs around you or the expansive timeless essence of your being in your natural state, in which “joy, peace, and love emanate”? I’ll take the latter!
We live in a self-created illusion, a story we tell ourselves and believe with all our hearts. This is what creates our suffering. It also gives us meaning, but we become slaves to this meaning. We hate in the name of our stories. We kill to uphold our stories. Our stories cause sickness and depression. Whichever way we see or spin "what is", whether we designate it good or bad, we are being manipulated and driven by our fears of losing or not getting our “cravings and aversions’, as the Buddha said. The degree to which we are attached to our stories is the extent to which we are not free. Dropping our stories can seem impossible or frightening. What would happen to us if we had no story? Would we still exist?
One way to begin to see through these filters of conditioning is to put our beliefs through an inquiry. A powerful inquiry which Byron Katie teaches in four questions, goes like this: 1) Is it true? 2) Can I absolutely know that it is true? 3) How do I react when I think that thought? 4) Who would I be without the thought? Eckhart Tolle says these questions of Byron Katie’s… “acts like a razor sharp sword that cuts through that illusion and enables you to know for yourself the timeless essence of your being. Joy, peace, and love emanate from it as your natural state.”
Imagine being free from the illusion and being in a state of joy, peace and love. Byron Katie says the only beliefs which we need to inquire about are the ones that cause us suffering. After doing her work for over ten years, I can attest to the fact that there IS something much greater than our stories and our beliefs. Our stories become increasingly boring and limiting as we begin to become free of them. After all, whose story do you want to live, the limited version of your conditioning which came from other’s beliefs around you or the expansive timeless essence of your being in your natural state, in which “joy, peace, and love emanate”? I’ll take the latter!
Wednesday, January 3, 2007
Thoughts Are Things
Thoughts are things. We create the quality of our lives by the thoughts we entertain, whether consciously or not. We don't create our thoughts, they just arise as possibilities in the cosmos which we then attract by our energetic vibration and cultivate into our life experience. Just like people passing us on the street, some look interesting and some do not. For example, a drug addict may look very interesting to another drug addict who is experiencing similar needs, perhaps a fix. Whereas, a mother with a child may be repelled by this same person. A math professor engrossed in solving a problem may not even notice the drug addict.
We are all in our own, self-created worlds. These worlds may interconnect with one another on many levels, but nevertheless be radically different, experientially. When we become conscious of this, we can begin to create our lives in alignment with our desires and eliminate unpleasant aspects which we are creating from our conditioned minds.
What power and freedom we actually have! Unfortunately, it is common in those of us who experience unpleasant situations to reject the notion that we are the creators of our circumstances. It's understandable that we are reluctant to admit we have done these unpleasant things to ourselves. So we project outward onto someone or something else and say they did it to us. Maybe we say God did it to us. This gives all our power away and leaves us feeling like a victim. Whether it is a physical illness, an emotional struggle, or even a war between countries, we are creating our experience of it. Notice I did not say creating IT. I am saying we are creating our EXPERIENCE of it.
Life happens! It is very important to not get stuck in the guilt trap, which is probably why anyone would reject this idea in the first place. It's how we interpret, spin, and deal with what happens that creates our experience of life. This is quite clear when we see someone who "has it all" and is miserable, or vice versa. I know people who are experiencing life-threatening illnesses who spend little time talking about it, are vibrant and inspired by the challenge of the "project". I know others who verbalize every ache or pain they experience and look beat down and victimized by their own incessant "verbage".
We're all just creating our own experience of what's happening. Those of us who moan and groan do so because we're not conscious of the negative effect it's having on us. When we become conscious and realize, without guilt, just what this behavior is doing to us, we have a choice! And what is really cool, is that we can change our experience and make it one that feels good!
Imagine a world in which every one of us is taking radical responsibility for our own happiness and well-being and turning each experience into a joyful one of love and gratitude. That would surely put an end to war and bring about world peace. Let's do it!
We are all in our own, self-created worlds. These worlds may interconnect with one another on many levels, but nevertheless be radically different, experientially. When we become conscious of this, we can begin to create our lives in alignment with our desires and eliminate unpleasant aspects which we are creating from our conditioned minds.
What power and freedom we actually have! Unfortunately, it is common in those of us who experience unpleasant situations to reject the notion that we are the creators of our circumstances. It's understandable that we are reluctant to admit we have done these unpleasant things to ourselves. So we project outward onto someone or something else and say they did it to us. Maybe we say God did it to us. This gives all our power away and leaves us feeling like a victim. Whether it is a physical illness, an emotional struggle, or even a war between countries, we are creating our experience of it. Notice I did not say creating IT. I am saying we are creating our EXPERIENCE of it.
Life happens! It is very important to not get stuck in the guilt trap, which is probably why anyone would reject this idea in the first place. It's how we interpret, spin, and deal with what happens that creates our experience of life. This is quite clear when we see someone who "has it all" and is miserable, or vice versa. I know people who are experiencing life-threatening illnesses who spend little time talking about it, are vibrant and inspired by the challenge of the "project". I know others who verbalize every ache or pain they experience and look beat down and victimized by their own incessant "verbage".
We're all just creating our own experience of what's happening. Those of us who moan and groan do so because we're not conscious of the negative effect it's having on us. When we become conscious and realize, without guilt, just what this behavior is doing to us, we have a choice! And what is really cool, is that we can change our experience and make it one that feels good!
Imagine a world in which every one of us is taking radical responsibility for our own happiness and well-being and turning each experience into a joyful one of love and gratitude. That would surely put an end to war and bring about world peace. Let's do it!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
