What You Focus On Expands and What You Resist, Persists

As the song goes, "you gotta accen...tuate the positive, elim...minate the negative and latch on...to the affirmative, don't mess with Mr. Inbetween."

Life cycles in a spiraling, wave-like fashion toward evolution. Our consciousness follows this same pattern of cyclical, spiraling waves. Some of us resist the pull toward evolution and some of us move consciously and with ease toward the pull. However we move forward emotionally, we all experience the wave-like ups and downs or lows and highs of our cycles. Depending on our habits of focus, we create and live in a particular emotional range, the character of which determines the quality of our lives.

If we pay attention to our thoughts and emotions, we quickly notice which part of the "wave" we are in at any given moment. If we habitually give attention to the negative or lower aspects of our cycles, then our emotional environment will spiral toward the lower ranges such as suffering and depression. If we maintain positive habits of thought, our cycle will spiral toward the higher ranges of happiness and well-being. In other words, if we live our lives focusing on the positive and transforming negatives into useful information, then we tend to spiral upward into higher consciousness. I say higher because positive focus leads to expansion of consciousness whereas negative focus leads to a contraction of consciousness, a pulling backward.

This brings me to a second principle: what we resist, persists. If we are resisting, we are focusing on the negative. We are thinking something is not right, it should be different. This is being at war with conditions or circumstances as they are. This resistance focuses attention on something and therefore feeds it. As long as we nourish the situation it will continue. Forward movement toward evolution is slowed down by our anchor of attention on the negative. Ironically, we perpetuate the very condition we dislike. This leaves us operating in an unpleasant reality and results in limiting the expansion of awareness. This does not mean we passively stick our heads in the sand and do nothing. It means we turn our focus to what we want to see rather than what we are currently seeing and disliking.

There are over 6 billion people living and experiencing their own versions of reality based on their habits of focus. We all have a choice to choose a particular spin on what we are seeing at any given moment. If we are conscious enough, we can notice the nature of our focus and ask ourselves if it produces feelings we would like to expand upon. For instance, if someone says to me, "I really like what you wore yesterday", I may hear that and react in dramatically different ways, depending on how I'm feeling. I may spin it as a compliment and be pleased or, if I'm in a lower part of the cycle, I may think they must not like what I'm wearing today. If I observe that I took it positively, I can then acknowledge I'm in a positive part of the cycle and just let it be, or enhance my position to consciously feel gratitude. If I notice I took it negatively, I can note that I am most likely in the negative or lower part of the cycle. As I become aware of this, I can consciously spin the comment toward the positive without reacting. This will send me on an upward spiral in my cycling and create a pleasant and satisfying emotional environment. We can consciously choose the way in which we focus our attention at any given moment. As a result, we can create a quality of life full of well-being and immense gratitude. This is the essence of free will.

Desire

Desire has gotten a bad rap in some spiritual and religious traditions. Renunciation and asceticism are held in high regard in many Eastern and some Western schools of thought. In my opinion, this perspective misses the mark. I see desire as a pull toward evolution from the Higher Self. The problem comes when the ego attaches itself and filters the desire to put it’s own spin on it. It is this spin that sometimes takes us down roads that are not for the highest purpose or well being of all involved. The ego, which is our personality or separate sense of self, is made up of our perception of all of the experiences we have had since birth. These perceptions have been influenced by our parent's and other authority figure's perceptions. Their perceptions have been influenced by their parents.....and on it goes.

When a desire is felt, the mind attaches an object or action of fulfillment to it. Right thinking and right action suggest that we take a look to see if that object or action is in alignment with truth. We must ask: Is it for the highest purpose of all involved as far as I can know? Will the fulfillment harm anyone, physically or emotionally? Does the fulfillment or action come from integrity? Can I be truthful? If the answer is not a resounding and unconditional yes, it is probably not the path to pursue. On the other hand, if our desires and their fulfillment are in alignment with truth, we are probably coming from a place grounded in alignment with our Higher Selves.

To stay in peace, harmony and joy, we must learn to surrender our desires when we know the outcome would not bring fulfillment and joy for all, or we may suffer the consequence of bringing pain on ourselves and others. When we find our desire is out of alignment with our Higher Selves, for instance, we know or suspect it will cause suffering in ourselves or others, and we still feel a craving desire for that which is out of alignment, it is time to surrender the fulfillment of the desire to our Higher Selves. We can ask our Higher Selves to fulfill in us, our desire in such a way as to bring satisfaction, and peace and harmony for all. This means letting go of the desired results showing up or looking the way we think they should and trusting that the Higher Self has something better in mind.

When I was married, my desire to keep my marriage and family together, in spite of resistance from my husband, was so strong that I was willing to try and keep it together at all costs. As a result of my early childhood experiences growing up in a "broken home", I was ignoring the emotional and mental costs that staying together were actually accruing. When I finally realized that I was ignoring all the destructive signs, I let go. I let go and asked the Universe to bring us into our "right" relationship. What followed when I finally let go and trusted the Universe, truly amazed me. My life went into an effortless flow of events that I personally could have never imagined, created or arranged. It has continued on ever since bringing my life into alignment with my deepest desires. I found out that I didn't have to give up my relationship with my daughter's father, it just needed changing. We are both in relationships which are far more suited to our individual natures, much happier and all friends.

Our Higher Self is available and as close to us as our very breath. When we tune in to our breath and sincerely ask to be brought into alignment with our Highest Purpose toward evolution and deeper fulfillment, our answer comes in the speed relative to the sincerity of our surrender. For every desire, we can ask for the fulfillment to come about for the highest purpose of all involved. When we are living our lives in alignment with Truth or our True Selves, life becomes an effortless, joyful and miraculous ride.

Surrender

We live our lives based in fear. We are exploited and controlled because of and by this fear. Why is this? It all stems from the illusion that we are the drivers in this vehicle we inhabit and through which we experience the world of manifestation. Somewhere deep within, we know that we don’t have all the information at our disposal to make the decisions necessary to live our lives based on our true desires. At least that is what the little mind thinks and it is quite accurate. This keeps us feeling unsettled and uneasy about our future, which we feel we must design or prepare for. But the Truth is, we do have all the information at our disposal, just not from the part of our consciousness through which we normally see the world and use for all our strategizing.

One day I was driving in my car (literally) and I heard a voice inside my head say, “If you will just let go and let me handle everything, I will do such a better job you will be absolutely amazed.” Well, I was already pretty amazed just to hear that voice let alone the promise, so I decided to actually try it. At this point in time, I was already familiar with the concept of surrender. I had been to the brink once before when I had no other choice than to throw my hands up in the air, absolutely lost to solutions regarding what felt like the most important aspect of my life. The result was an almost immediate movement from desperation to a sense of effortless flow. I couldn’t believe what was happening. Solutions I would never have thought of were not only appearing in my realm of consciousness, but I was effortlessly moving on them as if a power larger than me was carrying me fearlessly along. I was in flow. This lasted for a few months when I slipped back into my strategies and began life as usual again. Then about two years later I heard the voice while driving, for no apparent reason. I decided to listen and bow to the invitation of surrender again, this time from a place of conscious choice rather than desperation. What followed was an ever-increasing sense of wonder and awe and a deeper alignment with my true purpose and joy.

Surrender is a concept, which is not held favorably by the ego and for good reason. Fortunately we have two selves. The True Self, which we are born as, and the egoic self made up and conditioned by our perceived experiences. The egoic self is very necessary as it is from this separated sense of self that we are able to realize the True Self. It is as if we need to go out and look back to see whom we are. The problem is that we get caught out there in the illusion. The ego does whatever it can to keep us caught in order to stay in charge. But we are far more than the mini me we feel ourselves to be.

From the conditioned point of view we don’t see the big picture. At any moment in time we are looking at just a small piece of the painting. We may be looking at an ugly black glob. Or we may see a beautiful golden streak. What we see affects us depending on our past conditioning. Some of us have such an unpleasant experience in the separated identification that a spontaneous awakening to Truth occurs out of sheer despair. Some of us have glimpses of Truth and the curiosity pulls or drives us to realization. Some of us exist stubbornly in the delusion despite hints pointing otherwise. And then some of us are just asleep and never question. When we come into conscious awareness that we are seeing and reacting to only a limited point of view, we can loosen our grip on the story we are telling ourselves.

Surrender is the way to realization of the true master within. The true master awaits the invitation. The invitation is the surrender. It is in surrender that the struggle ends and joy begins. When we come into conscious awareness and surrender to the True Self whose view is complete, we experience an effortless alignment with our desires, and trust in the process of life unfolding perfectly as it should. We can then relax in knowing we are completely safe and enjoy the glorious ride.

Radical Responsibility

Radical responsibility is not just taking responsibility for what you say or do, but for anything and everything that comes into the field of your awareness. You are responsible for anything you see or hear in your life, including the war, terrorism, politicians, sickness (in yourself and in others), poverty, hunger, etc...What a concept! This brings meaning to the adage: "You are not in the world, the world is you."

I had just begun to have glimpses of this truth when I came upon an article written by Joe Vitale. He tells the story about a psychologist who, using the ancient Hawaiian spiritual practice of cleansing called Ho'oponopono, cured an entire ward of very difficult and criminally insane inmates at a state hospital. He did this by looking at their charts and then cleansing himself using four sentences:

I'm sorry. Forgive me. Thank you. I love you.

He never actually saw any one of the inmates face to face. He was so successful that the ward was closed.

I have been using this technique in my life for everything that causes me even the least bit of suffering. The results are remarkable!