What You Focus On Expands and What You Resist, Persists

As the song goes, "you gotta accen...tuate the positive, elim...minate the negative and latch on...to the affirmative, don't mess with Mr. Inbetween."

Life cycles in a spiraling, wave-like fashion toward evolution. Our consciousness follows this same pattern of cyclical, spiraling waves. Some of us resist the pull toward evolution and some of us move consciously and with ease toward the pull. However we move forward emotionally, we all experience the wave-like ups and downs or lows and highs of our cycles. Depending on our habits of focus, we create and live in a particular emotional range, the character of which determines the quality of our lives.

If we pay attention to our thoughts and emotions, we quickly notice which part of the "wave" we are in at any given moment. If we habitually give attention to the negative or lower aspects of our cycles, then our emotional environment will spiral toward the lower ranges such as suffering and depression. If we maintain positive habits of thought, our cycle will spiral toward the higher ranges of happiness and well-being. In other words, if we live our lives focusing on the positive and transforming negatives into useful information, then we tend to spiral upward into higher consciousness. I say higher because positive focus leads to expansion of consciousness whereas negative focus leads to a contraction of consciousness, a pulling backward.

This brings me to a second principle: what we resist, persists. If we are resisting, we are focusing on the negative. We are thinking something is not right, it should be different. This is being at war with conditions or circumstances as they are. This resistance focuses attention on something and therefore feeds it. As long as we nourish the situation it will continue. Forward movement toward evolution is slowed down by our anchor of attention on the negative. Ironically, we perpetuate the very condition we dislike. This leaves us operating in an unpleasant reality and results in limiting the expansion of awareness. This does not mean we passively stick our heads in the sand and do nothing. It means we turn our focus to what we want to see rather than what we are currently seeing and disliking.

There are over 6 billion people living and experiencing their own versions of reality based on their habits of focus. We all have a choice to choose a particular spin on what we are seeing at any given moment. If we are conscious enough, we can notice the nature of our focus and ask ourselves if it produces feelings we would like to expand upon. For instance, if someone says to me, "I really like what you wore yesterday", I may hear that and react in dramatically different ways, depending on how I'm feeling. I may spin it as a compliment and be pleased or, if I'm in a lower part of the cycle, I may think they must not like what I'm wearing today. If I observe that I took it positively, I can then acknowledge I'm in a positive part of the cycle and just let it be, or enhance my position to consciously feel gratitude. If I notice I took it negatively, I can note that I am most likely in the negative or lower part of the cycle. As I become aware of this, I can consciously spin the comment toward the positive without reacting. This will send me on an upward spiral in my cycling and create a pleasant and satisfying emotional environment. We can consciously choose the way in which we focus our attention at any given moment. As a result, we can create a quality of life full of well-being and immense gratitude. This is the essence of free will.

Desire

Desire has gotten a bad rap in some spiritual and religious traditions. Renunciation and asceticism are held in high regard in many Eastern and some Western schools of thought. In my opinion, this perspective misses the mark. I see desire as a pull toward evolution from the Higher Self. The problem comes when the ego attaches itself and filters the desire to put it’s own spin on it. It is this spin that sometimes takes us down roads that are not for the highest purpose or well being of all involved. The ego, which is our personality or separate sense of self, is made up of our perception of all of the experiences we have had since birth. These perceptions have been influenced by our parent's and other authority figure's perceptions. Their perceptions have been influenced by their parents.....and on it goes.

When a desire is felt, the mind attaches an object or action of fulfillment to it. Right thinking and right action suggest that we take a look to see if that object or action is in alignment with truth. We must ask: Is it for the highest purpose of all involved as far as I can know? Will the fulfillment harm anyone, physically or emotionally? Does the fulfillment or action come from integrity? Can I be truthful? If the answer is not a resounding and unconditional yes, it is probably not the path to pursue. On the other hand, if our desires and their fulfillment are in alignment with truth, we are probably coming from a place grounded in alignment with our Higher Selves.

To stay in peace, harmony and joy, we must learn to surrender our desires when we know the outcome would not bring fulfillment and joy for all, or we may suffer the consequence of bringing pain on ourselves and others. When we find our desire is out of alignment with our Higher Selves, for instance, we know or suspect it will cause suffering in ourselves or others, and we still feel a craving desire for that which is out of alignment, it is time to surrender the fulfillment of the desire to our Higher Selves. We can ask our Higher Selves to fulfill in us, our desire in such a way as to bring satisfaction, and peace and harmony for all. This means letting go of the desired results showing up or looking the way we think they should and trusting that the Higher Self has something better in mind.

When I was married, my desire to keep my marriage and family together, in spite of resistance from my husband, was so strong that I was willing to try and keep it together at all costs. As a result of my early childhood experiences growing up in a "broken home", I was ignoring the emotional and mental costs that staying together were actually accruing. When I finally realized that I was ignoring all the destructive signs, I let go. I let go and asked the Universe to bring us into our "right" relationship. What followed when I finally let go and trusted the Universe, truly amazed me. My life went into an effortless flow of events that I personally could have never imagined, created or arranged. It has continued on ever since bringing my life into alignment with my deepest desires. I found out that I didn't have to give up my relationship with my daughter's father, it just needed changing. We are both in relationships which are far more suited to our individual natures, much happier and all friends.

Our Higher Self is available and as close to us as our very breath. When we tune in to our breath and sincerely ask to be brought into alignment with our Highest Purpose toward evolution and deeper fulfillment, our answer comes in the speed relative to the sincerity of our surrender. For every desire, we can ask for the fulfillment to come about for the highest purpose of all involved. When we are living our lives in alignment with Truth or our True Selves, life becomes an effortless, joyful and miraculous ride.